Sunday, February 24, 2013

Holding steady

I'm still here.

I haven't gained any weight. I haven't lost any at all. I've teetered between 211 and 215.

I am ok with that. Life is insane right now and I am trying not to feel the insanity. This month I drove to my parents twice. Over 2000 miles without help. I have been dealing with the reality of my moms impending death. Hospice was a relief and a sadness at the same time. I knew she was heading this direction and its a relief to move to the next phase, a relief for my father who was stressed beyond belief. Hospice provides him the help and assistance he has needed. Hospice has forced my mom to accept her position and use the help she needs, like a walker and a shower chair.

It's very hard to focus on myself right now. It's also hard to maintain the "normal" of life with a husband and 2 young boys while 330 miles away nothing is normal.

I could say so much more but I need to sleep.

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Sunday Sunday Sunday

I've been a bit quite here. It wasn't intentional.

I hit my January goal of 210. I showed a loss and the mid competition check in.

I've been busy getting baseball going among the 5000 other things. Any mom of a little leaguer knows my pain. I am the team mom, fun fun. I love it but it takes some work to have two practices and a batting cage night every week at 6pm. Now the games are at 630, so late. He just turned 9.

I am also on my second trip in 2 weeks. This one is the fun one. I am up in the mountains at a scrapbooking retreat at a bed and breakfast. This was planned long before all the crap with mom. It is nice to get away for myself for a few days. The weird thing is I get stomach issues when I come here. I prepared more this time by bringing tums and more of my own food. Still having problems, lots of bubbles in my tummy lets say. Is it the altitude?

I leaving on my 3rd trip in 3 weeks on Thursday. I am taking the boys up to see my mom. It's what I have to do. It means I will be going on 3 weeks with barely seeing my husband. I will see he a bit tonight but that's it.

Honestly with all the crap going on I will be happy at maintaining 210. Sure I want to drop more but do I really have the "space" to focus on it.