Saturday, December 29, 2012

Stressors suck especially right when you are ready to leap

I'm not old. At least I dont feel like I am.
Iam 39 quickly approaching 40.
I am also an only child.
My parents live 350 miles away from me and I have no one else around.

Right now I am visiting. My moms health is declining quickly. She has been fighting cancer for almost 4 years. The cancer will never go away the chemo just keeps it at bay. Parents live in the mountains so their drs and chemo is about an hour drive away. My parents are young at 65. My dad is moms full time caretaker. Come to find out this week that my dad needs a full shoulder replacement. 6 weeks of no driving. How in the world are WE going to manage that.

Im at a loss as to how I could help my parents and still maintain my household.

I thought about having them come down to my area and we rent a place for them to stay, my place is way too small. Maybe dad could rehab near me and I can help with mom. But ... She has her Chemo every other week, and sees the dr every week and my parents had 2 lab sized dogs and a cat. I could try the other way but what about the kids, schools, etc.

Unfortunately the picture is pretty clear that 2013 will be a time of loss for me.

I do have an awesome friend who has already offered to do some option research for me.

Friday, December 28, 2012

New day - new all around

I'm back
2012 has been a strange rough year for me. I am heavy. All progress I made over the last few years has gone to shit. I am totally back to square one.

I believe one reason for the absolute decline, hell incline in weight for that matter, decline In health is due to this blog. There is a reason why weight watchers works - accountability. My blog was my accountability. Stop blogging, lose accountability, gain weight. Sure it was not that basic but accountability holds a lot of weight. I'm sure my husband work love me to be weight and health accountable to him but that would kill my marriage. We have a very open and communicative marriage but my weight, food choices, Etc is a no go subject for me.

Admittedly I love knowing some one out there in the electronic blue yonder is reading my blog but honestly this is for ME only. I think that is where I faltered. I will treat this blog as my journal.

I am not sure if its worthwhile or useful to reHash the past year and why I am back to square one. The bullet points would be depression, stress, portion control and lack of consistency everywhere in my life. Don't get me wrong it hasn't all been a landslide. There is some much improved facets of my life just not the weight and Health.

I am in prep mode. I am preparing for the proverbial new year. beginnings. Yes you can view it as a crock of shit or a great plan. Coinciding with the new year is a weight loss competition at hubby's work. It is a $ prize. We won 2nd last year and I Think we got $300