Saturday, April 28, 2012

I'm Marking This One Done

Next month I will be celebrating my 39th birthday.  A long time ago I created at 40 by 40 list.  There is a side page listed on the top of my blog with it.  I have been meaning to update this list.  I still will.   #14 is grow my hair to bra length.  I have been working on this one for awhile.  I have baby fine hair with body.  It has been driving me nuts.  Regardless of how much product I use it gets so tangled and takes FOREVER to comb out.  With working out 5 times a week, that can be frustrating.  I also have the type of hair where I need to shower daily or it gets too greasy.  I also have no style skills, like french braiding etc, so getting the long hair out of my way was proving difficult.

My original intention was to below my bra but I am DONE with my hair.  I need a lighter easier cut.  I am marking this one off.  Seriously I don't think my hair can go much longer. 

Please ignore the backfat
 Other notes
I didn't intend to take a 6 day break from my blog.  It just happened.  We are down a car and in the process of figuring out what the hell to do.  My weight is great, I will update later.

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Skinny Tips

Skinny Tips via a Jillian's Michael's Podcast 3/24/12
Tip in black, my comments in purple

1. Eat 8 almonds or 5 walnuts before a big meal, no more, it's not a snack. This will keep you full for a longer time so you will eat less.  Don't see anything odd about this one.  Someone might have an issue stopping with just 8. 

2. Brush your teeth throughout the day. You don't want to eat if you just brushed your teeth. I'm not sure this will stop me. That just brushed taste fades quick although having nice brushed teeth does feel good.

3. If you desire pizza and you avoid the craving by eating an apple, then XX, then XX by the time you are done you would have eaten the same amount of calories as the pizza. So eat 3 bites of the thing you desire (pizza, etc), walk away and wait 10 min. Hopefully the craving will have passed.  JM admitted this is a hard one.  Could I stop at just 3.  Honestly I doubt it but it could be worth a try.

4. Wear tight clothes or Spanx.  OK this is fantastic and I totally get it.  With my gain over the last year my nicer clothes no longer fit and the ones that do are too loose, giving me lots of room.  When I do put on something more fitted I feel so uncomfortable.  If I wore something tight to a party I definitely might avoid eating too much.  I need to wear fitted clothes more often to remind myself I need to work on it.  All my house clothes are huge, comfy and loose.

5. It's ok to have carbs - White and whole wheat pasta are high glycemic. Preferable eat brown rice or quinoa pasta. If you make it Al Dente it lowers the gymycemic index of the pasta.  I pretty much avoid pasta. I never time pasta and I usually over cook it, I will have to keep a close eye on it.  Not sure the toddler would eat Al Dente.

6. With high glycemic index food, food combine with fat and protein you will slow down the insulin release of the carbs. Still stay within the portion control.  This is the cornerstone of Insulin Resistance (or diabetic) diet.  Every meal should have a counteracting protein in it.  I strive to eat this way.  It works for my body, in fact it will work for all body's.

7. Fiber supplement - not the fake stuff, not laxatives - psyllium husks. Fiber is a bulking agent it make you feel more full. Take before your meal.  I've never tried psyllium husks but I do use Chia seeds.  It does give you a satisfied feeling.  Sometimes I will bring a cup full of water or tea with chia in it to sip on at a party. 

8. Dump salt or something on your food when you are done eating something (restaurant) and ruin the food. Destroying any temptations.  Totally reasonable idea or getting a box and putting it right in.  I would totally pick otherwise.  I still have the clean you plate mentality ingrained in my brain.  I fight it all the time.

Friday, April 20, 2012

Days 3 and 4

In day 3 I hit the wall. I was suffering from compound soreness.
I felt hungry for the first time. My body was beat to a pulp. I feel like the walking dead.

Unfortunately my cooler head did not prevail over my tumultuous stomach on Wednesday night.  I had book club meeting.  I brought chicken skewers, totally safe to eat.  Is that all I ate, sadly no.  I didn't over eat, bonus I guess. 

On the plus side (or minus) I am down about 4 pounds since Monday.

On day 4 (thru) I missed my alarm.  I came home from book club at 10:30 (late) so 4:45 was just too early.  I went to the 9am class instead.  No hunger, in fact I forgot to eat, weird.  Soreness subsided and I felt somewhat normal.

I am looking forward to the workout break this weekend.  Bummer is the weekend is when hubby works so not much resting will happen with a dirty house and 2 active boys (and baseball both days).

Saturday is cheat day.  I am worried that it will undo all the work I accomplished this week.

4 days down, 17 to go.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

2 Days Down, 19 to Go

Admittedly this challenge is not as bad as I made it out to be. 

Weird thing is that every night I get super hot when I am sleeping.  Trainer says it my body saying “hell yes”. 

I’ve dropped about 3 pounds since Monday.

I was exhausted all afternoon and night on Tuesday, I went from 5 am on non stop, no my usual MO.  Hubby had to work OT until late night so I had no help.  The tornado of a toddler deicided he didn’t want to nap, he wanted to mark all the walls with a marker, pull out half of my newly planted vegetables, hit his brother, and on and on.  I lost my cool more than once.  The house is a mess and its really getting to me but its nearly impossible to do anything with the tornado around.  Seriously he pulled out my plants in a matter of 3 mins.

The no grain day (tue) was fine.  I made a new yummy.  I cut up some asparagus in small pieces.  Sauté in water in a cover pan, when water is gone I added some butter, cracked 1 whole egg and then some egg white from a carton.  Scramble then I topped it with Tastefully Simple’s Seasoned salt.  I loved it so much I made it twice.  Sure I could have skipped the butter, but I didn’t. 

My body hurts.  Time to pick up some Epson salts for my bath.

I did get upset the other day that my measurements (arms, chest, hip, waist) are the same as another blogger, who weights 75 pounds more than me.  The major difference is that my thighs are 11 inches smaller per side (18 in), calves too.  Again I am humpty dumpty, big on top, small on the bottom.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012


In case you are wondering that is not me.
No weight in today.  I posted my weight yesterday.

Monday, April 16, 2012

Rapid Fat Loss Challenge

Today was day 1 of a 21 day rapid fat loss challenge. My longtime fitness guru Paul is running it. I decided its just the right swift kick in the ass I need. This is not a permanent diet.  Over the next 3 weeks I will chronicle how it is going for me.  It's only 21 days.

Start weight = 204.0
Intense exercise 5-6 days a week
MWF - 4 meals of a fist portion of lean protein, 1 grain (oatmeal, quinoa, black beans, or sweet potato) and 1 green veggie
TTH- 4 meals of 1 lean protein and 1 green veggie
Sat - free for all
Sun - fast

No dairy, no sugar, no other grains, no other veggies (tomatoes boo). There is some more to it, I won't bore you with the details.  The kicker is that I will be doing 4 of my workouts at 5:00 am.

Day 1
Exercise was quick but intense and also simple We were supposed to be at a 7 of 10 for exertion. No sugar or milk in my am black tea sucked but I dealt with it. Paul mentioned a little sugar and milk won't hurt. Tomorrow I will add milk but skip the sugar. I really want to see how zero sugar will make me feel. My legs feel like jello. I crashed around 2 pm.  My head is very clear.  Energy level about a 6 of 10 but dropping as the day goes from the workout.  Right now I am eating spinach, quinoa, and a really dry turkey meatloaf.

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Well Duh!!!

On my recent road trips I discovered I could listen to podcasts on my phone to pass the time.  I have thoroughly enjoyed listening to Jillian Michael's podcasts.  She is honest, open and knowledgeable about so many areas of life. Forget what you know about her and check it out.

Anyway, on the way up to visit my mom's this past Monday I was dumbstruck by JM's podcast.  Call it my ah ha moment or whatever you want to call it.  I'd like to think of it as a smack upside the head.  Go here and or iTunes and listen to the 3/24/12 podcast.

Let's call it "control when you are out of control".  Bear with me here, i'll paraphrase.  Or listen to the podcast if you can.

Taking control.  Regain your sense of control and ease the feeling of utter helplessness by being proactive in other areas of your life.  Keep yourself busy with other things.  Be positive and have an impact.  Exert control in other areas of your life and if you can have a positive impact on others.
I cannot control the situation with my mom.  I can be proactive and control what I eat and my exercise.  I can clean my act up and get off this pity food wagon I have been on for far too long.  I can give mom the Gift I know deep in my heart I want to give.  I will keep myself busy with weight loss, exercise and fixing my home.  I can continue the work with my weight loss group and maybe have a positive impact on others.

I called my hubby later in the day and mentioned my ah ha moment.  He said "that's what I have been telling you".  My response was that I needed to have my pity party, now I am done.

The damage of the last few weeks is bad. As of this morning my weigh is 202.4.  No too bad but 5 pounds over my lowest for 2012 of 197.  I have huge plans for the next 3 weeks to tackle this weight.  It will be a rough few weeks - no sugar, no bread. - but I am ready.  It's only 21 days starting Monday.  It's a fat loss program my trainer is running.

Friday, April 6, 2012

News is NOT Positive

Not a whole lot of health and fitness related things going on around here lately. Lots of tears and breakdowns.

Not really sure how much TIME we have but right now it's my number one priority. I will bring the fitness and health back in because I need it. It will make me feel better and help me cope with the other crap. Bad food makes me feel bad. No exercise makes me feel bad. I don't need to add that on to already feeling crappy.

I will be blogging when I can and honestly need to, but not a priority. I hope my readers understand It's my therapy. It may be boring but I need it. I don't have a ton of readers but i am honored to have every single one. I am sorry there is not much weight loss going on here. There will be, just not right now.

A little personal history might help with understanding. I am an only child. The rest of our family, aunts and uncles are distant and/or live across the country. My dad is a good man but distant and very difficult to communicate with. My parents live over 300 miles away. My husband's entire family also lives across the country. With the exception of my husband I am quite alone in this process of losing my young (64) mom to cancer.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Weekly Weight In 4/3/2012

Weight = 201.2
Loss = NA
Loss for 2012 = –3.6
Total Loss = –30.8
Emotion = all over the place

Fine I will weight in.  I will admit that last Tuesday I was at 203.8.  Insane 7 pound gain in one week.  Vicious food cycle here – I am eating emotionally, I feel crappy from the eating, the food choices cycle cravings for more crap and I continue to eat and feel crappy.  I am really low right now.  Super low.

I am on a fence right now about my blog.  I am trying to decide where I want to go with it right now.  I need to process if I really should be spending time on it in the first place.  It take a lot of time to post.  Time where my toddler can get into trouble, which usually means more clean up time for me.  Stay tuned, I have yet to make a decision, I am working it out.

Today is a good and bad day.  Tonight I will be celebrating my 11th anniversary.  My hubby made the plans which is a very very rare thing.  I have no clue what we are doing.  It’s nice to hand over control sometimes.  I wish I could do it more often.  Sometime today my mom will be getting her CAT scan results from last week.  Honestly I am not trying to be negative here but I know the results will not be positive.  The realistic scientist in me knows this.

Want proof of how low I am.  I cried 2 times writing this post.  Crazy!!!!  I am a bit sleep deprived today.