Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Weekly Weigh In 2-28-2012

Weight = 199.2
Loss = -0.4
Total Loss = 32.8
Emotion = Holding Steady

Why "holding steady"?  I am thrilled with maintaining and not going back over 200.  Right now my focus is completely away from weight loss. I have been on an emotional roller coaster. With some much needed prompting from my husband, honesty after some big emotional fights, I finally have some appointments set for therapy. My anxiety is at an all time high and I probably have some depression. I need a neutral party to talk to and work things out.  I am not opposed to prescription intervention but I want to wait and see how it goes.  I would prefer not to take anything.  I have also been dealing with some medical issues that have not resolved.  As much as I would like to say it doesn't stress me out, it does.

Yesterday I attended kettlebell boot camp. Last time I went was at least 4 months. I miss group exercise classes. Honestly with all the muck going on upstairs I need classes like these to force myself to exercise. You see, I want to exercise but I lack the umph to do it on my own right now. But this is yet another thing that the all mighty dollar is roadblocking me. These are the times I wish I was working. But I wouldn't change my situation.  Our taxes are done and maybe the refund will be nice ought for me to use some funds.  I am all over fatigued from class not not crazy sore.

Monday, February 27, 2012

Cooking Love

This past weekend I was in a cooking frenzy. Part of the love comes from getting new tools. For Christmas I received a 7 quart cast iron Dutch oven (that I bought on Black Friday) and a stick blender. Two items I've never had but always loved and desired.

Over the years I converted from an exact measurement cook to an eyeball and experimentation cook. I was unsure of cooking abilities before and my chemistry background enforced using exact measurements. I credit shows like Rachael Ray with the change in my cooking.  Nowadays I look a recipe and wing it.  Add here and there and hand measure the spices (like Rachel).

This weekend I made a big batch of chili and chicken tortilla soup. The chili was excellent. The soup was good but not what I expected. I took a friend's recipe and obliterated it. Sometimes experimentation get you in trouble.

Eating clean unprocessed foods requires cooking.  Sometimes it's a royal pain in the you know what.  Other times I love the process.

Friday, February 24, 2012

That's What I Call Grocery Shopping

Hubby came home from our local Sprouts with all this. We may not go organic yet (too much $$$$) but we do eat healthy and unprocessed most of the time. Kids are not totally on board but we are working on it.

Goods include - on sale chicken breasts and ground chicken, 3 colors of bell peppers , quinioa, almonds, cranberries, 3 types of onions, and flours. All this for just over $50.

Hubby did this all. Including looking at the ads and deciding what is the best price. He is a keeper.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

A Deflated Idea

Have you ever been struck with a fantastic wonderful idea then you get struck down because of the all mighty dollar?

Today I had an awesome chance to meet someone who truly might be able to help me. I met with a certified intuitive eating counselor. I love the idea of working with her. Problem is I'm not sure where I can find the funds to do so. I will also have to wait until after the weight competition with hubby (March 15). Apparently the beginning states of intuitive eating work and weight loss don't equate.

A lot came to the surface while we talked. She said I have a lot to deal with right now. I feel like I am at the bottom of a huge mountain. That mountain is a huge transition for me. I imagine at the end of this transition I will be the women I want to be. I'm nearly 39 so if you want let's call it a mid life crisis. That proverbial mountain with be a long, steady, hard, difficult climb.

I want to work with this counselor. I need to figure out how I can do that. I browsed ebay tonight to see if I can sell some things laying (unused) around the house.  Wish me luck.  Another option would be to ask my parents, as crazy as that sounds.  Sometimes being a stay at home has it downsides.  This same night I had a discussion with my son as to why I can't buy him at $14 dollar pencil sharpener for his desk.  Crap thing is that I bought him a cheap small $1 one and it ripped up the pencils.  Total waste and killed the point I was trying to make.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Weekly Weigh In 2/21/12

Weight = 199.6
Lost = -0.2 but really nothing
Total Lost = 32.4
Emotion = wasted

I can't believe February is almost over. I feel like I wasted the month fitness and weight loss wise. Honestly I didn't record my weight last week because it was up and I was embarrassed. Not the right mindset to be in. I really have made no progress in a month.  That is a waste.

On the positive side I am making it over some big hurdles.  I talked to my Dr. (general) about seeking a therapist and maybe some medicated help.  Honestly she would have probably prescribed me something that day but I told her I want to wait until after I start seeing someone and get their opinion.  I am also having a consultation with an Intuitive Eating counselor.  she is a local person I just recently received a referral for.  We will see what she can offer.  All is not wasted but I am drained for the meotional crap swiming in my head.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Muscle Memory

Our bodies are amazing. You treat it right and it returns the favor, most of the time.

By definition "Muscle memory has been used synonymously with motor learning, which is a form of procedural memory that involves consolidating a specific motor task into memory through repetition. When a movement is repeated over time, a long-term muscle memory is created for that task, eventually allowing it to be performed without conscious effort. This process decreases the need for attention and creates maximum efficiency within the motor and memory systems" (from Wikipedia)

Why am I bringing this up? It has been a long time since I consistently went to a yoga class. Way too long in my opinion. Can't even remember the last time. With my gift certificate I have taken 3 or 4 hot yoga classes this month. The first and second time I couldn't even remotely do a wheel or plow. Things I used to be able to do easily. Tonight was a different story. I dug deep and did both with ease while dripping with sweat.  Neither of my poses look as good as below (from Yoga Journal online).
Wheel                                                               Plow                           

Funny how our bodies remember to do. Unfortunately this is the only good thing going well this month. Other exercise and food choices have been rough going.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Food While Away

My weekend away was great with a few minor exceptions. The B&B was nice. Not as much as I expected. I thought it was going to be some quaint place off in the mountains way off the main roads. Turns out the place was right on a main road in the town. The room was nice and clean and well kept. The grounds however could use some picking and perking up. The scrapping room was awesome and well appointed. The food, that deserves a whole paragraph

You ever go on a trip and wish you had more information before you left. I did. The first night (Thursday) dinner was own our own. We choose Mexican. It was traditional Mexican with all the full fatty beans. I had some tummy issues so I barely ate. I think I was fighting off the flu that my boy had earlier in the week. It would have been nice if the person charge would have told us beforehand we were eating Mexican from the same place on Saturday.  Since the place is a Bed and Breakfast, they can only cook breakfast, again I would have love to known this.  Dinner on Friday was Domino's pizza and a Costco salad.  I wish we could have bought from a local joint.  The pizza was horrible.  I barely choked down my piece and it killed my stomach.  Breakfast were a whole different story.  They were beautiful but the variety, richness and flavors were so much more then my poor tummy was used to.  Below was one example - cantaloupe, applesauce yogurt with homemade granola, blueberry poopyseed muffin, maple glazed ham, veggie quiche and white chocolate chip and fruit scone with sugar coated top.  Lunch was on our own on Fri and Sat was a boxed salad (blah!!!).

My stomach and back end were in turmoil the whole trip.  I feel like the bug passed by frienday morning and the rest of the time is was indigestion.  I had to make a trip to Walgreen's to get some tums and the market to buy some mellow foods to calm the system down.  I don't know why I felt so bad.  Was I still fighting the bug?  Or am I used to plainer less variety and cleaner eating?  Did you ever have a trip were you thought the eating would be fantastic and it turns out it wasn't worth the pain or trouble?

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Our Love Story

Yesterday I read Kaycie’s Love story and I thought I would share mine. The love has been strong around here. I will try to share pictures but I also respect hubby’s right to privacy.
1. How long have you and your significant other been together?We have been together for 13 and known each other for about 17 years.
Our 10 year Anniversary celebration

2. How did you meet? {What's your "love" story?}Ours is not a typical love story. You know the one where we meet and instantly fall in love. Combine one very shy and socially awkward man with one hurt baggage carrying lady and you can see it takes some time and serious armor shrinking.  We were both part of a large social group of friends.  He was an old timer in the group and I was a newcomer.  He was interested in me from the start but I was resistant.  It wasn’t until a few years later where he finally showed his authentic self did I allow my armor to come down.

3. How long have you been married?In April we will be married for 11 years.

4. Where did you get married at? Big or small wedding?
What defines big or small? I guess I would choose medium. We tied the knot on a nearly 90 year old yacht cruising Newport Beach harbor. The yacht is beautiful, full of teak wood and details. We had 106 guests join us for a cocktail party (open bar). Not a full meal and no sit down. It was crowded and fun. We never lived together beforehand and at the time we lived 250 miles apart. We married in April and I didn’t move in with him until late August.

5. Do you have any nick-names that you call one another? Do share!“Hun, Babe, Pain in my A**”. Almost never call him by his real name.

6. Name 3 things you love most about your honey.1. He is an excellent daddy and husband
2. He knows me deep down to my core and is able to muck through all my BS
3. He believes in marriage and love

7. Tell us how he proposed? One year later we met at the same location of our first date. It’s one of those places with a movie theater, shops and tons of restaurants. I was sitting at the fountain where I had waited the year before. He came up and pretended to be tying his shoe. He said, “While I am down here ….” and went into his proposal. I don’t remember the exact words. Afterwards we went out to a nice diner.

8. Is he a flowers and teddy bear kind of guy for v-day, or strawberries, champagne, and rose petals?None of the above. His philosophy is that you don’t need a certain day to show your love.  In fact just a few mins ago he asked what I was writing.  Me – Our love story for my blog.  Him – oh yeah it’s valentines day, what did you get me.  Me- My undying love and respect and GS cookies.  Him – me too but no cookies.

9. Are you a sunset dinner on the beach kind of girl, or pop a movie in and relax on the couch?Our MO now is relax on the couch and watch shows so I like when things are out of the norm. Like a night where we just talk all night or play games.  Date nights are great too.  Honestly I love when we can spend some time ALONE.  It is such a rare occurrence.  Going shopping at Costco alone is perfection.  The kids add a tangible tension to our relationship at times. 

10. Tell us one thing you'd like to do with your significant one day. If you could do anything? Go anywhere?Dreaming – all inclusive trip to some tropical place.

11. Tell us what you plan on doing on this Valentine's Day. Refer to #8.  With 2 kids and no family to watch them its an easy answer. Nothing. We will spend today together. Why do you want to fight the craziness. If the budget allows I will ask him if we want to plan a date night.

12. Are you asking for anything this Valentine's day?I just received an awesome gift of a weekend away. What more can I ask for.

13. Give us one piece of advice of keeping a relationship strong and full of love. Communication. The number one sign of distress in our marriage is when the communication breaks down. You have to be able to communicate your needs and wants and issues.

14.  Show us a picture of what love means to you.


Friday, February 10, 2012

24 Hours

This is officially the longest time I have been away from my almost 3 year old. This trip is a bucket list item. I've heard about this scrap booking b&b in the mountains for years. I've finally got a chance to go. I have been scrap booking on and off for years. I get to be away from home with a friend Thursday to Sunday. I do miss my boys.

The food so far has been great but not out of control. Last night we went out to Mexican. The food was good but I ate very little since I was having some tummy issues. I've been having snacks but not over eating. There was Apple pie (see pic). Breakfast was awesome - small muffin, herb and cheese eggs, candied bacon, fruit, cold Muesli with apples, and Swedish pancakes with boysenberry syrup. Seems like a ton but the portions were nice a small. I skipped the muffin. Seriously who candies bacon. Is was yummy.

Side note - both hubby and I lost weight, inches, and body fat with the weight competition. Hubby lost 13 pounds and is down to 17% body fat. We have 5 more weeks to go.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Weekly weigh in 2/8/12

Weight = 199.8
Loss = +0.4
Total loss = -32.2
Emotion = Resolved and Purged

I'm a day late. Tummy sickness hit the toddler on the middle of Monday night. I had zero sleep and was in no mood to step on the scale. The other issue was that on Monday night I had a great emotional purging with hubby, aka fight and resolution. It was an exhaustive process full of tears and some yelling. All is good now but the the big picture is that I need outside help.  Weather in the form of talking or a pill or a little of both.

Post race life is not where it should be. I haven't followed an exercise program yet. Lasy day I exercised was Sunday. I've had no desire to do it. Honestly I am enjoying the break. Food wise is sporadic otherwise known as not in control. Between the post race eating, bunco night, big kid party, my parents visit, my friend making loads of homemade bread and Superbowl I have indulged way too many times to have a good weight loss.

Right now hubby and I are on our way to do a midway weight check for the competition. I am fairly sure I will show a loss but not a big one. My resolve is that after this weekend it game on time

Monday, February 6, 2012

February Goals

I drafted this post last week but with the Jan review and race racap I didn't get a chance to post.

February Goals
Goal target 195.  I actually adjusted this one upwards.  My post race eating has yet to get back on track.  Too much crap this past week. 

Start hot yoga classes. I attended my first yesterday and I am sore and beat today.  Hubby bought me a Groupon for the a new local studio. The Groupon was super cheap so several friends joined up too. Kettlebells at least two times a week.  Lastly at least one if not 2 walks or hikes in the week.  No more than 2 days between workouts.  Ideally I really only want one break day a week.

Continue to work on office. It's gonna take some time. Finish Christmas scrapbook. Purge and organize scrapbooking supplies, etc. Purge and organize school and art supplies. Continue to meal plan and start adding in new foods.

The HOWs
  • Limit my computer time with a timer.  I lose track of time too much.  What I think was 15 min is usually an hour or more.
  • Schedule my exercise and DO IT
  • No more food cheating.  This next weekend is my scrapbook retreat and I have 0 control of the food choices.  I will have to focus on portion control.
  • Schedule my organization session.  The timer thing worked for me.  Total focus on the task for a set amount of time.
  • Add more veggies and fruit.

Friday, February 3, 2012

Race Recap–Tinker Bell Half Marathon 1/29/12

On Saturday I was a bundle of hot nerves ready to explode.  It was a combination of race nerves and too much to do in too little time.  Hubby asked kindly if I could get the floors mopped.  Our entire downstairs I covered in Laminate wood that was super fuzzy and filthy.  He was having a friend over on race day and wanted a cleaner house.  I also had to pack for the night over, have my weight group meeting and some grocery shopping.  I am so happy my friend I decided to stay overnight near the race.  being away from the home and kids allowed me to decompress and prepare.  We live about 30 min away but with an early start time (5:45 am) and parking nightmares a hotel stay over was an excellent choice.  Plus our corral was right across from the hotel (bonus).

The night before we went to dinner and it seemed that everywhere we went we ran into other racers.  It was fun chatting with people about the race.  I slept ok the night before.  We set our alarm for 4am and luckily the hotel provided a continental breakfast and the opened in 2.5 hours earlier for us racers.  We were in the last corral.  Probably just under the banner line in the way way back of the picture below.  I think there was about 10,000 racers.

startPicture sourced from Run Disney Facebook page

It is hard to put into words how the race was.  I will try.  I have to say Disney does a great job.  I saw almost every character was out there.  I didn’t stop anywhere but it was cute to see.  I loved the cheer, dance and band squads scattered throughout the race and the occasional music locations too.  The Read Hats ladies were super cute/  We even had some Marines and a Marine rock band.  There was a ton of turns in the race which apparently for the serious runners that is an issue.  It didn’t bother me at all.  I was very focused once I crossed the start line.  I put my headphones on and went.  It was weird that I really didn’t need my music (normally I do).  I was barely listening to it.  I did intervals of running and fast walking.  No set system, just ran when I could and wanted to.  I get an eye on my watch.  I ultimately wanted to come in at 3 hours even though I did not train at that pace.  I hit 12 miles around 2:50 so I knew trying to make 1.1 miles in 10 min would be hard and too much so I did what I could.  I was a mere 4 min over my actual goal.  It was a goal I really didn’t tell anyone about.

Recovery was fine.  Stairs were painful on Sun and Mon.  The weird thing is that I have been super tired and very moody.  Everything is irritating me.  Don’t know if its related.  I might have spoiled myself by choosing Disney as my first race.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

January in Review

Bye to January 2012, Hello February.
Start of Jan = 204.8
End of Jan = 199.4
Total Loss = -5.4 pounds

View my original Goals here.
Weight - Goal 199 pounds.  Technically met this one. I was 199.4 so if you round down I made it.

1/2 Marathon - Goal - finish in 3 hrs and 30 min.  I finished the marathon faster than my stated goal. To be honest my secret goal was to do it in 3 hours.  The night before I shared this with my friend.  For some reason I thought that would be a 15 min/mile but no the night before I discovered in order to meet my 3 hour mark I would have to keep a 13.7 min/ mile pace.  Big difference.

Life goals
Meal Planning
I am really proud of this one. I'd say we ate dinner at the table probably 25 nights. Not 100% before 6pm but still at the table.  Not every night was a family meal, sometimes I had to pull out the old kid favorites like pizza or chicken dinos, while I ate something on plan or leftovers. Regardless of this we still sat at the table without distractions. Even my toddler has gotten into the habit of asking about our days at the table.

Technically we don't have an office (a room with doors) but we have a location on our main floor that serves as office space.  It is technically the family room.  Both hubby and I have been purging the office. Below is the before photos. It's not a pretty sight. I cleaned off all the tops. Purged a bunch of items and dusted everywhere. Hubby worked on scanning files and shredding. 
My LEGO project will be done today. This project requires the help of my almost 8 year old. He uses every molecule in his body to avoid this.  Son and I came to a compromise.  He will still have a bin with scattered LEGO pieces alongside of his organised system.  It is also a difficult task to accomplish with a nearly 3 year old wanting to be a part of the action.  This will probably be an ongoing item but by end of day today the system will be in place.

I honestly think this is the first month I met all my set goals.  How did you do?