Tuesday, December 27, 2011

A Belated Happy Holidays

This is how I spent my Christmas Day. 


The boys and I went to the beach.  It was gorgeous.  It looks like it was empty, it wasn’t, so many people had the same idea.  The last few days warmed up, I think it was mid 70’s on xmas day.  We tried for a family photo but it didn’t work.  Seriously I don’t have a single family photo in all of 2011.  Resolution for next year, take more family photos.

I choose happiness.  I choose to enjoy my family.  We choose to spend the entire day, just us.  We choose to pull out of other social commitments.  We choose to get soaked by a wave that crashed on the rocks. 

Honestly I am happy to have 2011 come to a close.  Sure my babies are only getting bigger but personally I accomplished very little toward my fitness goals.  Well, not exactly true.  I achieved some big milestones and then let it all got to crap.  More recap later, not the purpose of this post.

My moms recovery is improving.  She will probably be coming down in 2 weeks.

Friday, December 23, 2011

Ba Humbug

The holiday spirit has yet to visit me.  Honestly if weren’t for the kids I probably wouldn’t be doing anything.

My husband works on Sat the 24th and on Monday the 26th. When I say work I mean he is gone by 4:30am and doesn’t come home until after 7:30pm.  I am ultimately thrilled that he has Christmas day off.  He had enough seniority to get it off.  Honestly I am not sure how much worse my mood would get if he didn’t have it off.

Part of my foul mood (a very large part) is that my parents are unable to come down to celebrate with us.  My mom’s last cycle of her cancer meds hit her hard and she isn’t recovering quick enough.  She will never beat this cancer.  The medicine keeps it at bay and has for the past 3 years, thank the heavens, stars or whatever you believe in.  Yes there is a very large 800 pound gorilla always in my room.  Most of the time I choose to swim in Denial that it exists.  This week I haven’t been able to do much swimming.  The gorilla decided to smack me in the face hard and I am still reeling from it.

I am a hot mess.  I have logged over 12 miles already this week, managed a kettlebell session but skipped today.  I am beat from training.  Beat from my emotions.  Beat from lack of sleep.  Beat from the toddlers antics in the middle of the night.  Beat from the toddler antics during the day ;-).  Beat from all the crap I have be shoveing in my mouth.

I am trying here.  I know Yoda says “Do or Do not, there is no try”.  Try is all I can muster at this point.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Weekly Weight in 12/20/11

I can do this


But I still weigh this

Honest Scale - Funny Pictures

Because of this

Weight = 204.4
Loss Gain = + 3.4

I have been struggling (for too long) with some emotional crap baggage that I am sure is playing a LARGE role in my food choices.  I will be seeking help, when I find time to research the right person.

More later.  Gotta work on the house, kids, crashing from my 8 miler today

Monday, December 19, 2011

Fitting in Exercise

The other day a friend asked how I fit exercise into my life.  The answer is complicated.

  • I don’t belong to a gym
  • I do have a helpful husband with sometimes 4 days off
  • I don’t have family to help
  • I do have a treadmill in my garage but I prefer outside walking
  • I don’t currently pay for any exercise service (no trainer)
  • I have my kids 24/7/365 with some minor exceptions
  • I do have a husband who works 40 hours in 3 days (sat, sun, mon) and occasionally OT days which means he doesn’t exist for 3 days every week.  Luckily he doesn’t travel. 

To start off I have only been successful in the exercise department lately.  My weight, my head and my food choices are completely out of whack.  Other than a few breaks here and there (sick, vacay, etc) exercise is the only thing I have been successful at.  It’s not enough, FOOD is where I need to work.  I have to eat nearly perfectly to affect my weight loss.

As far as exercise concerned and how I manage to do it, the answer is multi layered.  When I was consistently doing kettlebells my trainer would allow me to bring the kids.  My trainer kept them under control and they listen to him perfectly.  Just recently I started kettlebell again with a friend.  I go to her garage at 645am before the family needs me.  It has to be on hubby’s off days.

For now with the walking (half marathon training) it’s complicated. At times I do have to take my 2 year old.  If I keep in constant motion and supply him with snacks he stays in the stroller.  Sometimes he naps in it, which is good and bad.   Other toddler free occasions he is either with my husband, with my friend or with a sitter I pay.  The friend I am training with sometimes doesn’t walk but offers to watch the boys to allow me to walk.  I recently found a younger, yet certified sitter.  She only charges me $5 for both kids.  I can’t do early mornings (before 6am).  I like my alone time in the evening so I don’t go to bed early enough to do early morning.  The time that has been working best is right after school drop off for the 7yo, then I have only 1 kid to deal with, most days.  As the day progresses so do the excuses.

I am a scheduler.  I have a color coded outlook calendar I check often, it has all 4 family members on it.  One trick is that on Sunday I review the week and see where I can fit in my exercise.  Sometimes I even add my exercise to the schedule like this week.


Sorry my posts have been infrequent.  I am working on fitting it all in and keeping everyone (including myself) happy.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Yeah Baby

Today I did this


With my new


I returned my previous 2 pairs.  Went thru Road Runner’s Shoe Dog program to discover I am still a neutral runner and size 7 wide (my fee shrunk).  I was able to get them 20% off but in a size 9.  It is normal to get running shoes at least 1/2 to a full size bigger.  But when you are blessed with wide feet like me that might not be enough.  The 8.5 I felt didn’t have enough room in the toes so I went with the 9.  I have worn them twice for almost 10 miles total with no issues.  They are a minimalist shoe with a 4mm difference between heel and toe.

Monday, December 12, 2011


T – Total
I – Investment (in)
M – Myself
E – Equals



18.07 miles for last week.

My epiphany of the week is this training takes some major TIME.  The above represents over 5 hours of my week not including drive time and stretching.  The kicker is we haven’t even reached 1/2 of the race distance (13.1) miles.  You can see why I haven’t been posting much, I don’t have enough time.

This week I am working with another friend and adding kettlebells (resistance work) back into the mix.  I committed to 2 days a week at 6:45 am none the less.  Yuck.  I want my resistance training back, I am getting to squishy.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Underneath it All–Part 2

Part 1 is here.

New wicking underwear was an EPIC FAILURE

This is what I did.

imageLet me explain.  I have no hips.  My love handles are wider than my hips and then my waistline goes slightly in from my handles.  My waist and love handles are by far the widest part of my body.  So with all this loveliness, I need my underwear and pants for that matter to sit above my love handles.  Otherwise it won’t stay up and all the love will be hanging out.  Not pretty.  Pic below explain it all.  That is my normal cotton undies.  Keeps all the bits in.


The new Under Armor underwear rolled under my belly and sat on my pubic bone and double c-section scars.  Nice and comfortable. They also rode up my crack.  They wouldn’t stay put.  When they managed to stay up (briefly), some of my fat would hang out underneath (sorry for the visual).

I am about to chuck the underwear idea and buy some wicking pants and go commando (not a preference of mine).  Heck I might buy the men's running shorts.  You know the ones with the tights underneath looser shorts.  Or maybe I can find some way to make my tush stop sweating.  This is all new to me. 


Is a $30 pair of plus sixed undies my only option.  That seems crazy to me to spend that much on 1 fricking pair.  I really don’t have time for this but I really need a solution.  13.1 miles is a long way to go with a sweaty tush.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Weekly Weigh In 12/6/11

Weight = 200.6
Loss = –1.8

Next week, back in ONEderland for sure.  It’s funny how slow a weight gain comes off.  Just a hard as it was the first time you tried to lose it.

Review of my week  - I was amazed that I clocked 15 miles last week.  Even though I took a 2 day break after the super long walk last Tuesday.  This week I want to hit closer to 20 miles.  Water is hard to get in.  I have been drinking more tea (it’s cold).  I need more veggies big time.  I am still allowing too many indulgences.

I did have a big boo hoo day.  I was looking for pictures for my 7 year old star student to bring to school.  Boo – there is not a single picture of the 4 of us.  Boo – I am still fat.  Boo – I have been fat for too long.  Boo – I HATE my skin.  That same day I picked myself up and went for a 3.7 mile walk.  Mood changed drastically.

This can be a long, challenging, suck ass but well worth it battle.  It’s not the “I will be thin” that makes it worth it.  It’s the feeling, the accomplishments, the pride, the clothes, the energy, the fun,  and the love of self that makes it worth the long hard battle.

Monday, December 5, 2011

Underneath it All

Let’s talk underwear.  If this is too TMI skip this.  I am simple girl.  Cotton, full brief, Lane Bryant size 14.  Been wearing it for years.  Covers all the bits and stays in place. Since I have been obese for years this is probably the reason for the granny panties.  I will wear a cotton thong for very special occasions but it’s a big ridiculous with all the belly fat hanging out where it shouldn’t.  At the running store the other day I picked up a pair of Under Armor wicking boy shorts in XL for my sweat issues.  I tried them on over my cotton grannies.  Lordy I think the mirror was even laughing at me.


This is crazy.  I am sweating from 2 areas (seen above) in just a 55 min run / walk.  More walk than run.  What will happen on a 3.5 hours 13.1 mile race.  I did buy the Under Armor XL briefs (not boy) but have yet to try them.  I still have to wash them.

I need to find an solution.  On my nearly 4 mile walk yesterday it was uncomfortable and I often had to “pick my seat” to adjust my comfort.  I can’t be the only one with this problem.