Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Weekly Weigh In 9/20/11

Weight = 199.2
Loss = +1.4

Public omission – I am having a difficult time.  It not just with my weight loss.  It is affecting many aspects of my life.  My anxiety is at an all time high.  My binge issues are escalated.  I am unable to keep control on my food choices.  The things that usually make me happy / calm are not working.

Hubby and I had a big blow out last week that resulted in a long discussion about me and how I am doing.  Which is not good.  The summary was I want / need to seek help.

A few days ago I sought the advice of a well informed friend.  I let it all out, told her my troubles.  That was HARD in itself.  I struggle with admitting I need help.  My wonderful friend suggested starting with Overeaters Anonymous.  OA might will help with the food issue but may result in some anxiety help too considering the first step is to give up control.  In addition, OA is free.  Today was a binge example.  PTA volunteer social with mini doughnuts, fruit, bagels, and pastries.  I didn’t eat breakfast (mistake 1).  My multiple trips to the table resulted in – 4 mini wheat bagels with light cream cheese, some grapes, multiple mini doughnuts (rough guess 10 +).  Why didn’t I stop with the 1 bagel and 2 donuts.  Why did I continue to go back and continue to eat.

Another major issue in my house is the discord in child rearing / discipline.  My husband is equally involved in the child rearing, not hands off like many dads.  Problem is we are not on the same page and my anxiety is causing problems with discipline.  I am worry if we are doing the right thing, worry about how the NOW will affect them in the FUTURE, I worry to the point of doubt and no action.

Today was another example of my anxiety getting the best of me.  Park play date, toddler was doing something I needed to change, I corrected him from a distance.  Another mom near me said basically to rest of group “its funny to know I am not the only one who barks at their kids, we all have our breaking points”.  I wasn’t barking at him and I was offended and felt like I was being judged.  I felt uncomfortable.

1 comment:

  1. sorry it's been rough. it's all part of the game and i've been through it all.
    i hope things start to feel a little less "arghhh!!"