Originally posted on June 7, 2010.
Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure... than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat. - Theodore Roosevelt
I feel it’s time to review were I have been. This is part dieting history and part personal history. Looking back I was not an overweight kid or teen. Because my genetic tendency is to carry my weight all in my stomach, I was probably a bit chubby at most. I never had the super thin teen body. I was athletic. I played soccer for years. I remember feeling fat and dieting on several occasion in my teens. I can't remember the specifics. I also had a chest. That developed in like 5th grade. I was teased mercilessly for that. So you can imagine a large chest on top of a bit of chunk on your tummy makes you look bigger. One of the things about PCOS is that you weight starts creeping on when you reach adulthood (fertility years).
Again due my poor memory I can remember exact details but I could guess I probably did Weight Watchers (WW) about 5 times or more between my late teens and into the 20's and 30's. I did all different programs. I did the traditional, points and tracking. I did the meals. I did the online program. I don't intend to knock WW, but I only recently discovered it's not the program for me. I think it provides tools for portion control which is a key to weigh loss success. Over the past about 10 years I learned the long and hard way to portion control myself. I am not always successful at it. I first had to unlearn the "clean you plate" mentality. That was hard. Then I had to break the eating till I am stuffed idea. Funny thing about me is that I sneeze many many times (like 30 times) when I overstuffed myself. It's gotten to the point over the years that loved ones will jokingly tell me to stop eating when I start sneezing. Buffet / party food is still a challenge for me on overeating.
I haven't been on the WW program for over 5 years or more but I now know why it never worked. Counting calories at this point is not good for me. I get obsessive about it, spend way to much time getting it just right and when I feel like it not just right I feel like I failed. When I feel failure (in any aspect of life) I seek food for comfort. No, vegetables don't not provide that comfort.