Saturday, May 28, 2011

A Look Back

Jack Sh*t has a saying that Saturdays are the day the blogs posts go to die.  Since I now have over 300 posts on my blog (amazing to me), I decided to use Saturdays to highlight some older, hopefully interesting, posts.  This one is my Why’s.  My first post ever.

Yeah I could mumble off many many motivations for finding the Fit Me. But one hit me like a ton of bricks the other night. I want my mom to see a fitter version of me before her kidney cancer takes her from me. She deserves to finally see me DO IT! I know she is proud of me but I really want her to be super proud.

There is more to that. The cancer may have come from high blood pressure issues my mom has suffered for years. The women on the maternal side of my family all have the apple shape like I do, which we all know is the bad shape to have. My aunt had a bypass in her 50’s, my grandma has already passed but has had her fair share of heart disease issues, a bypass, and possibly diabetes.

I remember vividly being a thin pre teen and visiting my grandma. She was sort of goofing around but she basically said just you wait when you get older you will have the tummy pouch like all the women in the family. I cried later that night to my mom. Fast forward to my 20’s and low an behold, big tummy apple shape here I come. Little did I know there is a very good reason for it all. Fast forward to my infertility issues and words like Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS,, Insulin Resistance and Thrombophilia ( I bet a million that my family members have this too (hereditary) but if you have kids in your early 20’s you don’t usually suffer from the PCOS related infertility issues so you never discover you have it.

I have been down this road so many times, but I really deep down feel that this is it. I am 36, married with 2 beautiful boys a home. I am happy, satisfied, and content but I have to finish the final piece of the puzzle. Time to finish this journey for good.

One reason why I really think this is my time is pregnancy. For the past 7 years I have been trying to get pregnant or stay pregnant. I had 4 pregnancies with 2 heartaches in-between 2 miracles. Each miracle baby was a high risk pregnancy which add to the stress. It was hard on all aspects of my life but I know I am lucky to have my 2 miracle boys. Now that the baby factory is closed I really feel I can do this. Yes, I have a 10 month old and an almost 6 year old, but I can do anything. Or at least I feel like I can.

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