Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Weekly Weigh In 5/31/11

Weigh = 191.6
Loss = +0.8

Do you hear that?  Do you hear that music?  I do, time to face the music.

I know I can do this, you know I can do this, time to DO IT.

Our bodies are funny.  They make you feel great when your drop weight, exercise and eat right.  But they make it very difficult to see a scale change.  On the other hand they make it super easy to gain weight.  So easy.

I’ve decided to change up my exercise routine for a few reasons.  I will continue with yoga and kettlebells but in a slightly different form (boot camp style).  I will be adding more walking and in July starting the couch to 5k program.  The major change will be when I do my exercise.  Currently I kettlebell train Mon, Tue and Thru night at 6:30pm.  I’ve decided its far more important to have a family dinner and nighttime consistency in the house.  My sacrifice is that I will now be training at 5 am.  I will also be training for The Tinker Bell half marathon in January 2012.  Big change.  The exception is Monday.  Hubby works like 14 hours, so 1. there is no family dinner with him and 2. I can’t go to the 5am class, he is already gone by then.

Mon  - walking in am and 6:30 pm K-bells
Tue – walk, yoga or 9am Boot camp - choice
Wed – 5:30am boot camp
Thur – walk, yoga or 9am Boot camp - choice
Fri – 5am boot camp and kickboxing
Sat – walk
Sun – rest

Capture

Monday, May 30, 2011

Happy Memorial Day

No post today.  Everyone's probably too busy having fun.  Thank you to the men and women who sacrificed their lives to make it possible for me to sit here and write this inside my own home.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

ABC’s of My Exercise Routine – part 1

My bloggy friend Karen wrote an nice ABC’s post on her exercise routine.  I thought I’d do the same.  Honestly I borrowed some of her answers because they fit mine.

A is for AMY – That’s me and this is my blog

B is for bra.  Ladies please protect the tata’s.  My pet peeve is when I watch shows like the Biggest Looser and you see the poor Tata’s swinging and bouncing all over the place.  They have access to the best, why not buy those poor women high quality exercise bras.  My current Fav is the Frog Bra from Title 9.  It’s not pretty but is compresses my ample tata’s in and no bounce.

C is for Core – I have great core strength.  I could probably do a 3 min plank or more but …I can’t do a full sit up.  My super fab trainer said it because I don’t know how to correctly fire the right muscles in the right sequence.

D is for DVD. I couldn’t be on my treadmill a DVD on.  I watch all my darker shows (on Netflix DVD) that hubby has no interest in like Dexter, Tudors, Weeds, etc.

E is for energy.  Exericse gives me energy.  Sure some days I feel like a total slig before class but afterwards I am on a high. 

F is for feet.  During most of classes (k-bells, kick, etc) I am barefoot.  I am also barefoot at home.  Pedicures are a requirement for my well used feet.

G is for goals.  I set mini goals for exercise.  Especially with kettlebells.  “I want to do a Turkish get-up”, or I can clean at 14kg bell.  I need to re-visit my exercise goals. 

H is for husband.  Being a stay at home mom I have zero income and I am 24/7 with the kids.  Without this man kettlebells, yoga, blog writing etc. would not be possible.

I is for intensity and intention.  Exercise gives you what you put into it.  Most days when I am “on” I work out with intensity and intention. 

J is for jiggle. As in what certain body parts are prone to do during exercise. I like compression pants to keep the tummy from jiggling.  I especially hate the jiggle during jumping jacks.  If I am not wearing compression pants I hold my stomach with one hand.

K is for Kettlebell. My miracle worker.  Most efficient tool in my exercise routine.

L is for latissimus dorsi.  My “lats” are used often during kettlebell training.  Even at 190 pounds I got rid of my back fat and side boob fat by working these.  When I lay on my side I am amazed at how smooth my body is from armpit to hip. 

imagesCAKS1TNP 

M is for motivation. Some days I have it and some days I don’t. 

Saturday, May 28, 2011

A Look Back

Jack Sh*t has a saying that Saturdays are the day the blogs posts go to die.  Since I now have over 300 posts on my blog (amazing to me), I decided to use Saturdays to highlight some older, hopefully interesting, posts.  This one is my Why’s.  My first post ever.

Yeah I could mumble off many many motivations for finding the Fit Me. But one hit me like a ton of bricks the other night. I want my mom to see a fitter version of me before her kidney cancer takes her from me. She deserves to finally see me DO IT! I know she is proud of me but I really want her to be super proud.

There is more to that. The cancer may have come from high blood pressure issues my mom has suffered for years. The women on the maternal side of my family all have the apple shape like I do, which we all know is the bad shape to have. My aunt had a bypass in her 50’s, my grandma has already passed but has had her fair share of heart disease issues, a bypass, and possibly diabetes.

I remember vividly being a thin pre teen and visiting my grandma. She was sort of goofing around but she basically said just you wait when you get older you will have the tummy pouch like all the women in the family. I cried later that night to my mom. Fast forward to my 20’s and low an behold, big tummy apple shape here I come. Little did I know there is a very good reason for it all. Fast forward to my infertility issues and words like Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PCOS)), Insulin Resistance and Thrombophilia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thrombophilia). I bet a million that my family members have this too (hereditary) but if you have kids in your early 20’s you don’t usually suffer from the PCOS related infertility issues so you never discover you have it.

I have been down this road so many times, but I really deep down feel that this is it. I am 36, married with 2 beautiful boys a home. I am happy, satisfied, and content but I have to finish the final piece of the puzzle. Time to finish this journey for good.

One reason why I really think this is my time is pregnancy. For the past 7 years I have been trying to get pregnant or stay pregnant. I had 4 pregnancies with 2 heartaches in-between 2 miracles. Each miracle baby was a high risk pregnancy which add to the stress. It was hard on all aspects of my life but I know I am lucky to have my 2 miracle boys. Now that the baby factory is closed I really feel I can do this. Yes, I have a 10 month old and an almost 6 year old, but I can do anything. Or at least I feel like I can.

Friday, May 27, 2011

5? Friday 5/27

1. Do you apologize to your kids?
Yes.  In a few ways.  “I am sorry your are not feeling good.”  “I am sorry your friend made you upset.”, etc.  When I do something that I know was not right, like get really angry with him and lose it, I will apologize.

2. What color are your nails right now?
Hands = Nothing, always
Feet = an off purple with flowers

3. When you were growing up, how difficult was it for you to stay home from school sick? (As in, did you have to vomit or just say "I don't feel good".)
My mom is an RN, it was difficult.  A rule I stick to from my childhood is that if you stay home from school there is no playing, going out, video games, etc if you feel better later.  If you are sick enough to stay home from school you are sick all day.

4. When is the last time you bought a new comforter for your bed?
This is embarrassing to admit.  Last Jan of 2010 we upsized from a queen to a cal king.  To this day we still use our queen, plain comforter.  Worse is that until last month we only had one set of sheets, washed often.  That’s the glamorous life of a stay at home mom on a budget.

5. Favorite website(s)?
Most days I only hit at most 2 websites – Blogger and Facebook.  I read about 20 blogs or so.  I also hate picking favorites.  I used to love dooce.com but its fallen from my grace lately, too few posts.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Right Decision

You know you’ve made the right decision about cutting back on all volunteering when you hubby mentions “I can’t wait until you are done with all this stuff.”  I am looking forward to it but with trepidation.  Not putting my efforts outside of my home (& self) is a big change and it might be rough.  My current saying is “next year is a no volunteering year”.  I’ve been asked several times “are you doing X or Y, etc”.  I think one of the big challenges for me will be when someone asks for volunteers and no one steps up.  I will really have to red light myself from stepping in.  I am a sucker!

It’s been busy here.  I have a ton to get caught up on.  The weekend is free and clear, no plans at all.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Weekly Weigh In 5/24/11

Weight = 190.8
Loss = + 2.0
Gain from lowest of 185 = + 5.8

Considering on Monday morning the scale was 193, today is far better.  Like I said before I am DONE with this.  I know how much better I feel when I am on and getting fitter.  I hit my 38th birthday this past Sunday.  I want to be fit at forty.  Well before that but you get the idea.  I don’t mentally feel like I am steps away from 40 but honestly sometime I physically do feel it.

The other night I was at a friend’s 40th.  The party was full of people I haven’t seen in a long time.  Even with my recent gain I still received a ton of awesome compliments.  The funniest was a “you look hot”.  Never though of myself as HOT.  One friend said you can now see how I am meant to look.  That is, without all the fat covering my face.  There was the usual picture montage.  In one of the pics it was me about 10 years ago, my face was so big.  Didn’t even see myself at first look.  In fact someone else had to point it out to me.

I have more to say but it’s time to channel cinderelly, no, not the ball gown and glass slipper one.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Opinion Needed

I am in a bit bit of a quandary and would love an opinion.  The 411 is this ..

For the past few weeks I have been thinking of a goal achievement gift.  Something to work towards when I reach a desired weight.  Something to get my butt back in gear.  It worked well for me when I wanted to get under 200.  My tea pot was my reward.Capture

I’ve been dreaming about a reader device and an Ipad.  An Ipad is a bit too pricey for me and I am not a Mac person.  So a good in-between would be a Nook Color.  Need to do more research.  One thing I love is I can sync my outlook calendar.

The desired weight is 174.  I’ve been thinking this but I haven’t made a commitment to it or told anyone about my goal.

So what's the problem?

Yesterday was my 38th birthday.  Hubby is not the best best present buyer.  Last night he said my gift is still in the store waiting for me to pick it out.  I got the green light to buy a Nook.

Do I go ahead and buy a Nook and find something else to “work” towards?  Or do I wait?

Saturday, May 21, 2011

“When You Eat at the Fridge, Pull Up a Chair”

Cover Image

I had to give kuddos to my 7 year old.  He has to make a diorama of the dessert.  He wanted to go to the library and do some old school research, his words.  Even though I told him we could look it up on the internet.  We actually had a great time looking up books and then starting the project.  While there I picked up a book for myself too.  I don’t loan out library books too often because I am a slow reader and forget to return them.

I know this author has many books of eating, etc but this was the only one available.  I want to share the book with you and my feelings about it.  Over the next few weeks I will add a review to my blog.

Chapter 1 – Whatever You Do Don’t Diet

In Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind, Shunryu Suzuki talks about giving farm animals big pasture to roam.  He says that when you fence them in too tightly, they become wild and restless, but when you provide wide, open space, they relax.  The same is true of human beings.

The premise of this chapter is basically that diet (depravation) set us up for failure.  I believe in this whole heartily.  Now I am aware  there is a very opposite opinion out there in the blog world.  The other opinion is “you do all you can to drop all the weight quickly with strict dieting”.  I understand the logic behind this reasoning.  Yes at the rate I am going I will be ancient when I reach my goal but slow is the right path for me.  I know it, I learned it over the past year or so.  it works for me.  Losing weight is not one size fits all.  Weight loss is 80% diet, 10% exercise, 10% genetics and another 100% mental.  For some people strict dieting works or as I have seen many times works for awhile then fails to work.

Friday, May 20, 2011

5? Friday 5/20/11 and More

1. Do you and your spouse go to bed at the same time?
Yes and No.  On his days off we mostly do.  When he works he goes to bed at 9 or 10.  It’s a bit early for me and I like the total peace and alone time after everyone is sleeping.  I am better off going to bed with or before him so I can get to sleep before his snoring starts.  I am a light sleeper.

2. A question for the ladies...What kind of facial hair do you like on your man?
ZERO.  Like them clean shaven.  Not a fan of body hair period.

3. What's the worst vacation you've ever taken?
Two summers ago we rented a beach house with my parents.  I have learned over time that renting houses as a vacation is NOT a vacation for this stay at home mom.  I do the exact same things – cook, laundry, dishes, clean up as I do at home.  The location was great and it was nice to be with family but the bad part was my hubby.  Although I didn’t know it at the time he was at the beginning of a year long work struggle insanity.  He was not himself, tense and an ass the whole time.  The was the beginning of the worse year for us.

4. What's the first-ever blog you followed?
Before I started my weight loss blog and getting into that part of the blog world I followed some personal friends blogs.  Mostly family update blogs.

5. Do you enjoy amusement parks?
I live in Southern California.  I mostly grew up here.  I have been to all the amusement parks more times than I can count.  I have an annual pass to Disneyland.  I love Disneyland.  Roller coasters are fun but are starting to hurt my older body (neck, etc).  funny you ask, I am planning on going to Disneyland on Sunday (my birthday) and maybe even tonight.

************************************************************************************************************
My weight was scary this morning.  I have gained nearly 7 pounds in about 2 months.  Not crazy but not good.  First off I want to apologize to all the people I have judged (in my head) about gaining weight when you are trying to loose it.  I previously couldn’t understand how someone could gain 10 pounds so easily.  I was wrong and I admit it.  If you are not in a good place and not doing the right things, you will gain and then gain some more if you continue on the wrong path.

Second, I am DONE.  Done with being in a bad place, done with eating crap, done with feeling like shit.  Moving onward and downward NOW.

Third, a 7 pound gain is really bad when you got rid of all your looser fitting clothes.  I have felt so crappy in all my clothes lately.  I am on day 6 of my TOM, pissing me off.  I had it through my whole vacay and it started way late (nearly 7 days late).  GRRRRRRRR.

MOVING ON !@!!!!!!!#QW%$^@#$^

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Vacay Recap

We just got back a a few hours ago.  Kids are asleep and hubby is snoring on the couch.  Quick update since I didn’t get a chance to post since Tuesday.

How can I sum up my min vacation…… I was the oldest and practically the fattest female there.  I verified with hubby that there was one person who was “possibly” bigger then me.  Yeah me.  Some of the ladies had some seriously cute bikinis.  Even the mom of 3 was rocking a bikini and she looked good in it.

I turn 38 this weekend.  The oldest person besides hubby (42) and I was 33.  It went down from there.  There was about 22 people there and only 2 people with kids - One single mom with a 2 year old and a couple with 3 kids (8, 7 and 2).

We had a good time.  Our room was fantastic.  We did a mini suite so we had a mini fridge and a door to our bedroom and a big bathroom.  It worked perfect with the kids and sleeping.  The casino was super smoky and practically killed me.  The river (Colorado) was gorgeous but the second day was cold and windy so we hung out in the spa and went bowling.  The whole family loved riding the see-doos.  There might be one in our future.  The kids did good, off schedule but the blackout curtains helped. 

Harrah's Laughlin - North Tower Suite

We did dinner both nights (big group).  In theory I would have loved it but with an off schedule 2 year old, it was HELL.  Next time I think we will swap on going to the big dinner.  It’s just not worth the stress.

I will be doing a scale check in the morning.  I have an idea, we will see.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Weekly Weight In 5/17/11

Weight = on vacation, weight next Tuesday

We’re off on an adventure.  Monday night we drove to Laughlin NV with both Kids.  We are meeting some of hubby’s co workers there.  This is our first trip with this well established group.  I’ve only met them once.  I am a bit nervous (shy) about all that and hanging out in my bathing suit.

140-1

The positives of this trip are that if all goes well it could be the first of many with this group.  Something I have always desired for our family.  I envision doing trips with other families.  Being an older child of semi antisocial parents this never happened when I was growing up.  Oh yeah, we are on a mini vacay, another positive.

The negatives are sleep and food.  The toddler’s sleep to be exact.  The first night is always hard, he sleeps so poorly.  Plus the last few days he thinks it ok to be wide awake at 4:30 AM.  Are you kidding me.  I don’t think so.  Food choices will be limited.  I am packing some food and snacks to help out.

I have a few post planned, stay tuned.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Attempting a Disconnect

We are heading out of town tomorrow night.

Some of my family members may disagree with me, but I don’t think I am too addicted to the cyber world.  Sometime you have to take comments in context.  The day of anniversary party in April I received about 5 cell phone calls.  Mostly it was guest asking party questions.  My mom felt like I was on my phone all day.  Really, I don’t think so.  My hubby complains too but he is 1. not on facebook, etc and 2. he has a tendency to be an antisocial hermit and 3. does very little communication through email.

I will admit there is days were I do have a problem.  If I send something out where I am looking for a response (i.e. a baseball email) I have a tendency to get obsessive about checking.  I read blogs only once a day.  Facebook – sometimes only once, other times not so much.  I enjoy the connection, the glimpse into friends lives.  Email and texting are the ways most of my friends communicate.  Email is also the way I communicate for the kids activities – school, PTA, baseball and playdates.  We don’t have time to be on the phone.  I may text 2 – 6 times in a day, not an issue in my opinion.  Hell, texting is only way I seem to be able to get a babysitter.

All that being said, I will not be going on the computer for the next 3 days.  No email, no facebook, no blog reading. etc. 

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Update post (Boring Title Day)

Our garden – The tomato plants are looking awesome.  Hubby hooked everything up to a drip sprinkler, sweet.  We are seeing flowers.

Vision Board – I have an idea, just no implementation YET!.  I plan to make a space for me.  A small space with a visual reminder of where I want to be.  More to come.

NMW – My friends and I tired a second time to get into the Nike Women’s Marathon in SF (Oct 2011) – DENIED.  My plan was to (at least) do the couch to 5K and run a good portion of the race.  I have discovered I am not a runner (yet?) and I am not sure if I will be.  I love to exercise (kettlebells, etc).  I dislike the pain associated with running and the problems I get in my feet.  Will I run a 5K someday?  Right now I can’t say either way.  You can be fit a NOT be a runner.  My trainer never runs.

Bathing suit. – I ordered 2 from Land’s end.  I am still waiting for them.  One is a a safety one – a tankini and bottoms.  I know this one will be fine.  The second is my wishful thinking.  A bikini top (in teal) with board shorts.  There was nothing similar to try on so I have no idea how it will fit.  update later.

full top bottom

Volunteering – I am sticking with my plan.  No more volunteer commitments.  MOPs is swinging to a close.  I still have to finish work with my son’s classroom and baseball.  It will feel weird to not have the “other” stuff to do.

Friday, May 13, 2011

5? Friday 5/13

A second post in one day.  Blame Blogger.  The earlier bloated post was supposed to go on Thursday.  Busy Friday and rest of the weekend here.  More later.

1. Tube socks, calf socks, crew, ankle, none?
Being in Southern California I am about 90% flip flops or barefoot (kettlebells).  If I wear shoes I go for ankle socks from Costco.

2. Was your child’s (children's) name a mutual decision or was it a debate?
I prefer traditional boy names but most of the good ones are being taken by girls, boo.  With #1 it was a debate and we went with the second choice because some family member might have disliked the first choice.  With kid #1 we mutually chose the name (from a list of choices) as I was being wheeled into the c-section room.

3. What is your favorite type of weather?
Sunny, warm but not too hot, low humidity, a few clouds in the sky and a occasionally slight breeze.  Like today here.

4. If left to your own devices, what time would you wake up every day?
I am at the mercy of my kids.  Today it was 5:30am, yesterday 7:20am.  I think 7am is probably a good time for me.  I go to bed late.  I like one day to sleep in to recharge.  It rarely happens.  I might change my whole routine in June and workout in the early am again.  We will see.

5. Have you bought your cemetery plots yet?
Not even a remote thought in my mind.  Besides I am pretty sure we both want to be cremated so, no need.

I feel like ….

 untitled

A visitor is expected but late, a bit later then I am comfortable with.  My jean Capri's were so tight yesterday I had to change for comfort.  No need to worry there is no chance in hell I could be with xxxxx right now.  Time to drink a gallon of lemon water.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Appetite Fluctuations

This is to everyone just getting started or like me a RESTART.

Your appetite will change constantly.  When I am eating correctly, within my calorie range and on the medium to low carb total my appetite is decreased.  I fill up quickly and I feel satisfied.

The last 2 months I have been “off” with my eating.  The bad days outnumbered the good.  The tracking was nonexistent.  Last week we went to TGIF for dinner.  At this time I was not in a good place with my eating and emotions.  What did I choose to eat?  THIS!

HeroShotTwo

I woofed down the whole burger and some fries.  The thing I noticed is I WASN’T stuffed or full.  My appetite changed from weeks of poor eating choices and binges.  Beforehand I would have been full on half the burger with no fries.

When you are correcting your food choices (like me) and just getting started on your weight loss journey your body will adjust.  It will take time and it will be troublesome (headaches, temp sensitivity, etc).  The other day I was freezing in the 70 degree house.  My hubby questioned why I was so cold.  Answer – my body was adjusting to my diet and the reduction of sugar and calories.

Give it time.  You will begin to feel satisfied with the reduced calories.  I am still adjusting.  Day 4 on track.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Weekly Weigh In 5/10/11

Weight = 188.8
Loss = negligible

Emotion = heading in the right direction

Quick post, crazy busy here.  Does anyone else thinks it's crazy to try to get a hold of someone these days.  This person only responds to texts, this person emails, this person cell calls, this one home calls, or this person FB wall posts.  Am I the only one who thinks this is crazy?  I’ve been trying to arrange a sitter for a few upcoming events.  I had to make 4 phones call, 6 texts, respond to 10 texts and send 4 emails, etc, I can’t keep it all straight.

I am improving.  I have kept my food under control for 2 days now.  I am working on my water.  Tonight is kettlebells.  Today is work on house day.  The chaos and clutter is getting to me.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Avoidance – Good or Bad?

It’s abundantly clear I have been off track.  My head is not in a good state and I am in the process of cleaning up my head and my eating.  I am weak right now.  Weak to temptation, weak to overeating, weak to making poor choices.  Let’s not forget that visitor is expected and I am lacking sleep.  Fantastic combination to try to fix your food choices.  I am not bashing myself – Just an honest evaluation of where I am.

On Mother’s day (when I wrote this) I was thinking of something to do with my boys.  Disneyland? – first off it’s a ton of work for ME and oh the food, more food, and the Mickey pretzel with cheese.  Shopping at the outdoor mall – Food, we will have to eat right? so much food there, I would want the crepes or Red Robin fries, food!  Costco Shopping – ok, not super fun for mom’s day but the coupons expire today and we NEED Costco stuff.  The hot dogs, it’s Sunday and that means SAMPLES,  Love me the Costco samples.  Oh and I got the green light to buy dinner out from hubby.  Shouldn’t be cooking on mothers day.  Apologies for the above rant – I wrote it as it was in my head - CRAZY

I can’t make a decision to save my life.  I am hungry even though it’s noon and I’ve already had oatmeal packed with protein & flax, tea and a banana later.  It would be easier to stay at home and avoid it all.  Yes, I am all about moderation but I know I can’t moderate right now.

Is the healthy decision to avoid situations when you know you are weak?

UPDATE 8pm Sunday – I ate lunch of an apple, tuna salad and very few pita crackers.  I decided on Costco (expired coupons).  It was insane and the fullness of my cart was marveled at by others.  Staying home would have been equally insane.  My toddler is having one of those days were he insists on getting into everything he shouldn’t.  My husband rescued me around 7:30pm as I was already halfway into my glass of red wine.  Even through I was severely tempted mainly due to my emotions I kept my food under control and at roughly 1600 cals with 200g carbs.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Finish What I Started

I was smacked upside the head yesterday.  No, not a figurative smack an actual one.

My trainer approached me after class and said its time to finish what I started.  I replied “yeah I need to continue my journey”,  He said no, I need to finish and accentuated it with a polite smack on my head.  I wish I could remember the conversation verbatim.  It was totally what I needed.  Basically, time to stop yo-yoing around and get serious about my weight loss.  He said I am the classic example of “Fear of becoming what I don’t know”.  I fear becoming a person I’ve never met but want to be.  Sure I was thin a one point when I was a teen but I wasn’t FIT.  Thin and fit are not equal.

Among the 5000 excuses I could come up with for my poor performance the past 2 months I realized there is one that sticks out like I sore thumb.
46 pounds lost & 46 pounds to go
At the end of February I reached 186 and my new ticker said the above.  This freaked me out.  I am only halfway and look how long it took me to get here.  Yes, logically I know 140 may not be where I want to end, I may want to stop at a higher or lower weight.  It still freaked me out.

I need more of these talks, just not from my hubby.  I have always been super sensitive to my hubby’s constructive criticism, especially when it is weight related.  He wants to help and I have always told him the best help he can give me is to work on his own fitness.  In prior year’s this was an issue for us but now that I have been successful on my own this issue has improved.  He now has very very insightful yet infrequent comments.  He is able to see things I can’t or refuse to see myself.  This could be a whole post in itself.

I am so excited to see new followers, welcome.  Happy Mother’s day to all.  I'm trying to decide what to do today.  My hubby is working and it’s overcast with drizzle.  The  weather is finicky here.  This is how we spent Thursday afternoon.  Go figureuntitled

Friday, May 6, 2011

5? Friday 5/6

1. Have you ever had roommates?
One in my college dorm.  3 ladies in a rental house college year 2.  1 guy for college year 3.  A female friend for after I was out of my parents house.  I moved back to them after college with an enormous debt.  Then a guy when I moved into my fiancĂ©e condo without him living there, long story.

2. How many names do you/your children have? (i.e. Prince Charming William Phillip Arthur Louis John Jacob Jingleheimer-Schmidt)
Probably about 5000.  Stinky, boo, bubba, bubs, tornado, El Diablo, and so on.

3. Did you watch the Royal Wedding?
Not a single minute.  No time or interest.

4. What is the messiest room in your house?
What isn’t messy!  Our “office” and bedroom.  I say “office” because the room has no doors ands it’s 100% out in the open.

5. What is your ideal mothers day?
Since hubby has worked on Sundays forever and we have no family here it’s just another day for me.  My ideal would probably be a 100% free day and money to burn on myself or to pamper.  Time to exercise and spend with friends.  Not to forget some love and attention from the men in my life.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

No Wonder

No wonder I am sleepy and tired.

Capture

I am headed to the beach with my boys (no hubby).  First time this year.  Wish me luck.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Weekly Weigh In 5/3/11 – a day later

Weight = 189.2 on 5/3
Loss Gain = +2.4


First off my apologies for being a day later.  I couldn’t find any time to blog yesterday.  My day started with the usual school drop off, then an appointment with my endocrinologist, home stuff, talk with hubby, prescription fill, school pick up, to hospital for a cat scan while hubby buys shoes for kids, impromptu meet for dinner with another family, then off to mom’s movie night.

My heath – The endocrinologist was a routine visit.  I lost 2 pounds from her charts, not fantastic but the right direction for sure.  My blood chemistry is great.  Blood pressure is still marginally high.  Why a chest CT?  Well when you drop significant weight off your body you begin to notice body parts.  For example - “those are my hips bones or there is a collar bone (not yet for me)”.  With the weight loss I can now feel my sternum.  But it doesn’t feel right.  There is a hard bump on it.  Dr. said it could be just a regular part of my anatomy but a chest CT will rule anything out. 

My weigh – sucks.  I am beginning to feel like a fraud.  Please don’t stop reading my blog.  I love followers.  I love comments.  I honestly NEED to know you are out there.  Initially I thought of various reasons excuses for my gain and lack of success for the entire month.  But that’s the point they are just excuses.  The real reason is I AM SCARED.  I am scared of success of weight loss and I am scared of my CT results.  I am convinced that it’s something but as hubby says why stress when you don’t have any information.  Easy to say but not DO.

My weight is where it is because of my food choices.  My food choices are because my head is not in the right place.  Plain and simple.  No reason to go into details.

I vow to myself I will overcome this roadblock and move on.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

I Can’t Believe

I can’t believe it’s May already.  Crazy year.

I can’t believe I will not make my goal of 180 this month, I am 99.9% sure.  I may not even get below my lowest of 185.  I haven’t stepped on the scale for at least 4 days so I have no idea what will happen.  That is a long time for me not to weigh in.

I can’t believe how much this week is a vast improvement from last week.  The house is in relatively good shape.  Hubby and I had a date night on Friday at the baseball Casino night fundraiser but he pooped out early.  I can’t blame him, he did have to wake up at 4am the next morning.  I am still doing non stop laundry which is something I avoid.  I like to do it all it about a days and half and then not touch the machine for at least a week.  I am trying to train the big kid that he CAN wear jeans again if they are not too dirty.

I can’t believe I have to buy a bathing suit soon.  I have nothing to wear expect an ugly sport swimming suit one piece I bought for lap swimming.  I am NOT looking forward to suit shopping and let’s not forget the cost.  When you have a weird shape like me it’s not easy to find cheap stuff.  I like the Lands End line.  The suits are great for a mommy on the run (after a toddler) and provide great coverage without being a moo moo.  I think some of the plus sized suits are ridiculously ugly and old lady looking.

I can’t believe how big my 7 yo is getting.  The face changing this year is amazing.  He is a mini teen in training now with accompanying attitude.  Yesterday he told me it is my responsibly to keep track of his baseball stuff.  I don’t think so.  Let’s just say I was not happy nor was he after that comment.

What can’t you believe today?