Saturday, February 26, 2011

Starting From Scratch

The hard thing about trying to get fit and get over a illness is feeling like you have to start all over again.  I have been sick since Sunday.  Last workout was Monday (a pathetic one).  I haven't tracked my food all week and my house looks like a tornado went thru.

Starting from scratch.

I am slowly moving back into gear.  Thanks to El Diablo I got very little sleep last night but I am feeling better, with a sight amount of energy.  I may crash later.  Laundry is going, dishwasher is going, changed sheets, put away clean clothes, picked up, did email and blog reading and its not even 9 am yet.

Baseball was cancelled with the weather.  I actually wanted it to happen today so I can get all the crap off my plate – uniforms, picture envelopes, fundraising envelopes and birth certificates for verification, etc.

The challenge for today is multifold – get the house in order while keeping kids entertained and avoid them making more chaotic mess all while keeping myself back in order, staying on with my food and maybe getting some exercise.

How do you get back on track after an extended illness or other bump in the road?

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Boos and Whoo Hoos

Whoo Hoo – I was able to buy some new skincare products with some money I saved up.  It’s from Clinique.  It is designed to control the redness in my skin.  I am keeping my fingers crossed.  So far I am seeing some improvement, but with the cold and fevers it’s hard to tell.

Boo – I am still sick.  After 4 days of fevers I decided it’s time to go to the Dr.  When I called, the very knowledgeable staffer went thru a list if questions.  We decided it might be the flu.  I have an appointment for Friday, which I may cancel if I am better in the am.  I may be developing a secondary problem, like a sinus infections, etc.  We will see the outcome.

Whoo Hoo – This week marks the 30 pound loss for me (from blog start) and a total of 46 pound loss from my highest.  I have removed my 7 year old from my body.  I am also exacly halfway to my goal 46 pounds down, 46 to go.

Boo – With my cold I am behind in my 10,000 swing challenge.  As I today I have completed 5975 swings in the month of February.  I don’t think I can make the 10,000 by the end of the month.  I am WEAK right now.

Whoo Hoo – My weight is doing great.  Even better since I really don’t feel like eating.  If when I keep it up, it will be a great week for my weigh in.

Boo – On Monday I wasn’t feeling too bad.  A friend convinced me to go to kettlebell class.  Sweat out the toxins, and I will feel better.  EPIC FAIL.  I could barely do the class.  I collapsed on the floor at the end, intentionally not literally.  I secretly cried twice in class and burst into tears when I was in my car.  I felt far worse then before.  Bad Bad idea.  I may never be one of the fit people who exercise while sick.  Or maybe it was the wrong time to try it out.

Whoo Hoo – When I step on the scale I am still surprised to see a 18X.  I expect a 19X and I still I feel like it’s not real.  I think my mind has to catch up to my body.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Weekly Weigh In 2/22/11

Weight = 186.0
Loss = –1.2

I’ll be brief.  I am sick as a dog and can’t get off the couch or the bed.  I am on my 3rd day of fevers well over 100.  I don’t have any pretty charts, I haven’t been tracking my food for a few days.  I have been eating ok with the exception of a major meltdown on Sunday.  Let’s just say McDees, M&M’s and biscuits, three things I haven’t had forever.  It was a super whammy day – Major lack of sleep, baby sick, me sick, TOM and my parents visit was cut short.  More later when I am better.  I have a few whoo hoos and and few boos to write about.

P.S.  Many of you have written some great posts lately, I just haven’t had the time or energy to comment.  Polar – I was wondering were you have been, hope all is well.  Dr. Fatty – your food post was brilliant, I might even have a whole post on the topic.  McGee – You will do it.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

My Mirrors Lie

I have 2 large closet doors, fully mirrored and a full wall bathroom mirror.  All those mirror in my small master bath.  I look in the mirror and they tell me I am looking great.  You look slimmer.  Your tummy is going in.  You look and feel great.  Look at your tone and definition coming out.

Today I went to Kohl’s.  I just randomly picked out some 10, 12, L and XL.  It wasn’t fun.  I felt bloated, puffy and huge.  The mirror told me I was enormous and flabby.  12’s were a no go, I picked out a 14 but I was done and I left before trying them on.  I may have left to avoid the pain.  I didn’t go near the “Women’s” section.  I did downsize on a few shirts from a XL to an L.  For shits and giggles I tried on a bikini.  Now that was funny.  Nothing was great, nothing I liked.  I bought nothing.

To add insult to injury the Girls Scout were selling cookies outside the Kohl's.  I left and went to get a pedicure.  Best money I can spend.

A commenter asked if I would have a need for skin removal stomach SX if my highest was only 232.  I am 99% sure I do / will.  I have some picture here that I snapped inside the Kohl's not fitting room.  These are TMI and I can’t believe I am putting these out here, Mrs. McGee you are my inspiration.  I made them small but if you want to look closer you can.  Today I am puffy from somewhat indulgent eating yesterday.  I usually have a bit more definition on my stomach sides.

Please note my pants are sitting on my public bone otherwise known as my c-section scar.  Usually they are pulled over all that love you see.  When I hit –30 total (Blog total) in 1 pound I will do full body shots.  My legs and arms are great, at least in my opinion.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Family Visiting

My parents are in town and we took the kids to the aquarium.  At the small cafe inside I stood in line twice today to buy a rice crispy treat.  Guess what……  I also pulled out of the line twice and didn’t buy the treat.

It wasn’t a fantastic eating day but not over indulgent.  Just a bit higher than normal and not completely tracked.

Side note – lately I have noticed my parents wanting to give us money much more freely than ever before.  They are at a point where they don’t want for much and they also figure it will go to me anyway.  So I decided to sit down and talk with them about it.  They said they aren’t giving it because they think we need it.  I mentioned I have to respect my husband’s “pride” when it comes to money.  Not sure pride is the right word but you get the point.  So I point blank asked for what I need help with.  I need clothes money.  Buying clothes is not in our family budget right now.  Honestly, I could use the pick me up of some new pieces and maybe even some new skin care stuff too.  My skin needs help bad.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Too Soon?

I am confused.  I have been watching Heavy on A&E.  The past 2 weeks there was women who had skin removal surgeries when they were still in the 200 ++.  I don’t get it.

I understand it gets in the way.  I get that it can be troublesome when trying to run.  Solution – buy proper workout gear.  Specifically, compression pants to hold the chub in.   Yes, I have major flab in my tummy, at it hangs, sorry TMI.  If I didn’t wear the right pants, it would be an issue.

On the other hand, they do drop weigh quick.  So maybe the speed doesn't allow there skin and bodies to adjust.

I figure when I am at goal is when I will get my stomach done.  It may be a pipe dream.  I should start saving my pennies now.

What do you think.  Is is too soon?

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

I’m Scared

I need clothes, bad.  I also need shoes.  Not to mention a dress for my 10th anniversary party.  90% of my clothes are too big or I have very few pieces.  Seriously I have 1 decent long sleeve shirt.  Not that I have any money right now but it doesn’t matter, I am too chicken shit to go shopping.  Why you ask? 

I have been shopping almost exclusively at Lane Bryant for at least 15 years.  The smallest size they carry is a 14 and it in my opinion a generous 14.  I may have occasional pieces from Target, Wal-Mart or Old Navy.  I know in my heart that most of my body is much smaller than a 14 but my belly.  My belly is still big.  If something is fitted in the belly area (pants) I may not be lower than a 14.  I may even be higher, like a 16.

I am scared to find out where I am I.  I feel like I deserve to shop at regular store but fear I am not quite there yet.  I am scared I will get disappointed and frustrated which could very easily lead directly to eating crap, especially at the mall, land of temptation.

Secondary to being scared I also don’t have the time it will take to try everything on.  Blah, boring and time consuming.  Maybe bringing a friend would help but most of my friends have very little time too.  Plus with my hubby working weekends and theirs being normal 9-5 ers, it would be hard to carve out the time needed.  I don’t think shopping with me would be high on their priority list.  I was thinking maybe going with my mom when she visits next weekend but it depends on how she is feeling and would require someone else to care for the kids.

Third, I have no fricking clue where to shop.

For those successful weight droppers out there, what have you done?

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Weekly Weigh In 2/15/11

Weight = 187.2
Loss = – 3.0

My lowest recorded weight.  All my numbers are great - Under 1500 calories everyday, lower carbs (150g) and over a 1000 calorie deficit.  I am very happy with the progress.  My trainer asked me to to hit 1500 calories everyday and low and behold, it works :-).  I think keeping the carbs lower is also helping.  Another friend mentioned her issues with carbs and gave me some great ideas (Thanks AD).  I am slowly going to bring my total carbs down, but 150 isn’t too bad.



It would be great to have another 3 pound loss next week.  I am shooting for it.  Finally got a good night sleep last night, feeling much better.  Hubby is on his 5th -  over 12 hour day in a row, I miss him and look forward to seeing him tomorrow.  I spent V-Day at a Boy Scout meeting catered with pizza and no hubby, romantic I know.  I allowed myself 2 mediocre slices and was within my calorie budget.  As you can see above my carb total was much higher on Monday.

Monday, February 14, 2011

No Solution

I have a problem with no current solution.  It is related to my time management posts part 1 and part 2.

For months, probably more then I care to elaborate on, hubby and I have had a continuous discussion / disagreement / argument.  The issue centers around where (how) I spend my time. Hubby thinks I spend too much time on non home related activities.  I don’t want to make him out like an ogre.  He is right.  I don’t put enough effort into the home and it shows.  Parts of my home are chaotic.  When I use the term home it refers to wifely, mommy and all around household stuff.  Today I had an epiphany on the problem.

Today I was typing an email to the baseball parents about a million different things coming up.  This on a day where I had very little sleep the second night in a row, crazy toddler.  After an 8:30am baseball practice with cranky toddler in tow.  Toddler getting into everything every time I turn my back.  He actually flooded the kitchen 2 times today.  He is able to climb onto the counters unassisted.  Anyway, onto the story.  A light bulb went off as I was typing.  I enjoyed putting my efforts outside of the home because it is the only place where I feel a sense of accomplishment and validation.  I can get something done, get it done very well and check it off my mental list.  There is practically nothing at home where I feel that.

“I think the home should rise up to greet you, but people should rise up to greet each other," he says. "Your life should actually rise up to greet you."  - Nate Berkus

My home can’t remotely fit into this category.  Of my 3 bathrooms, all 3 are in need of major repair / renovation.  We are talking leaks, missing sections of drywall and linoleum from the 80’s.  My baseboards have yet to be finished since the floor was installed nearly a year ago.  Some walls are unpainted and the walls we did paint to repair / touch up thanks to El Diablo (toddler).  I have virtually no decor with beat to hell furniture.  There is controlled clutter, but it should not be there, I get it hidden.  Just wanted make sure I don’t come across as a hoarder.  My kitchen is from the 70’s.  My backyard is … arg can’t even put words to describe it.

This may be a problem exclusive to only Stay and Home mommies or mommies in general.  It is my reality now.  I know big picture, I am lucky to have a home, a hubby with a job and food on the table.  This is just another piece of the Ginormous puzzle of my journey to get fit forever.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Time Management Part 2

This is the second part of a post I did some time ago.  Can’t believe how long it’s taken me to finish this, but the issues are still coming back.  I have a follow up post already written but this one has to come to first.

This is a list of where I spend my time on activities outside of the home.  Some of the work I do at home.

MOPS is Mothers of Preschoolers.  I have been involved with this group for 4 years.  You can look at the website to see what it is.  I am on the Steering committee in charge of booking speakers, taking care of speakers during the meeting, etc.  We meet every other Friday for 10 months.  It takes a decent amount of time away while at home and involves an additional planning meeting every month.  This is the number one irritant to hubby.

Baseball Team Parent
Had I known how much work this was, I would have skipped.  Last night I received 6 emails just on this responsibility alone.  We just started so there has been a bunch of work up front.  Hopefully it will settle down and I plan to delegate to another mom who offered

School PTA
I am not committed to a position but in the past month I have had three major request of my time – yearbook, jog-a-thon and rummage sale.  I am skipping on the rummage sale.  Making yearbook pages seems easy and it fits to my scrapbooking skills.  For the jog-a-thon I committed to envelope stuffing, being at school the day of and data entry afterwards.

Co Room Mom
This is been on a small amount of work so far.  The other mom does a fair share of the work.

Moms Club
I joined a local Mom’s Club for my little one so he can have some people to play with etc.  The is a weekly play – date and other miscellaneous random activities throughout the month.

Book Club
This is a new one. I read all the time, nearly every night.   A few moms from the Mom’s Club wanted to start one.

This doesn’t include my desire to scrapbook, see friends, workout, go to the movies, etc.  It also doesn't include school schlepping, kids activities, practices, etc, etc.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Ode to Carbs

Goodbye my love
We’ve been together for a while
It’s time we part

You wrap me in comfort
You woo me with smell
You are readily accessible no matter where I go

You can be so buttery, doughy and flaky
I allow you to warm my soul
You tempt me at every turn

Goodbye my love
We’ve been together for a while
It’s time we part

You can be doughy, gooey, crunchy, sweet, salty
You do things to my body that I don’t like
You are in so many things I love

One try and I’m hooked
I can’t stop wanting more
It’s time

Goodbye my love
We’ve been together for a while
It’s time we part for a while

I am not a writer or poet, my apoligies.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Inches Update

Last time I did my inches was 12.3.10.  It was before I started Kettlebells.  I wanted to see if there was a change. 

Location Result Result Change
date 12/3/2010 2/10/2011  
neck 15.375 14.625 0.75
left arm 13 12.25 0.75
right arm 13.25 13 0.25
shoulders 47 47 0.00
u. chest 43.5 42.875 0.63
chest 47 46.625 0.38
u. waist 44 43 1.00
l. waist 45.375 45.75 -0.38
hips 46 44.5 1.50
left u. leg 23 22.375 0.63
right u. leg 23.25 22.75 0.50
left l. leg 20 18 2.00
right l.leg 20 18.75 1.25
left calf 15.25 14.875 0.38
right calf 15.75 15.75 0.00
    Total 9.625

So in nearly 2 months I lost about 10 inches.  Granted I know I measure I ton of locations but 10 inches is still 10 inches.  Oh course I am dropping in my thighs again.  Just where I DON”T need to.  My waist still isn’t changing much.  I am happy about the progress.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Yoga NSV

I did it.  Today was an unexpected NSV (Non Scale Victory)

I did a full wheel pose in yoga class today.  Last April 2010 I mentioned here I could only get my head on the mat, no lift to the full back bend (wheel).


I was excited.  I called the instructor over to make I was doing it correctly.  I was. On the way home I called my BFF to tell her and then when I got home I had to demo it to hubby.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Weekly Weigh In 2/8/11

Weight = 190.2
Loss = +0.2

I am not going to sit here and complain about why I didn’t lose weight.  Or wonder “oh I did everything correct, why is the scale so mean”.  I KNOW what I did, or didn’t do to be correct.  It’s all about the FOOD.  Humm FOOD is a four letter word, just like another 4 letter word beginning with F.

Here is a great illustration of why I didn’t drop weight.


Of the past 21 days I ate over my calorie max (1700) on 10 days.  Nearly 50% of the time. 

This past weekend was my son’s 7th birthday (I made the cake *), a breakfast date, and a superbowl party.

Pizza, cake and weight loss do not equate - Amy

*  I wasn’t able to resist the cake batter when I made the cake on Friday.  Although, I did put it in my food log. 

My calorie deficit average was over 1000 and I was in a deficit every day for the past 7 days, for normal people would mean a weight loss, not me.  I am beginning to think my sweet spot is about 1400 calories and less than 180 g carbs. 


P.S.  PAD and CB, I know the problem.  PAD your talk last night guided me to today’s post.  You know I work my butt of exercising, clearly food is my problem.  More so, consistency is a bigger underlying problem.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

A Proper Response

The other day I received a great comment to my post about hubby’s weight, etc. I think it deserves a proper response.

Polar's Mom said...

I can understand your frustration, in spite of how much he tried to think of your feelings first. But I'm wondering why you base your confirmation of success on how your loss/weight compares to your husband? You will eventually be smaller than him, and will get to a size that he cannot get to (right?), so at which weight would you stop comparing? When you are 5 pounds or so less than him?
Polar's Mom

My hubby’s weight is a big marker for me.  In the 12 years we have been together I have NEVER weighed less than him.  I also never remember being a weight less than 190.  I know at some point in my past I was less than 190, but I can’t recall when.  190 mark is also a point I have been unable to get below in the past 6 months.  I reached 190.0 more times than I care to count.  Never dipped into 180 until the past weeks.  Hubby’s weight and being below 190 are neck in neck so the numbers are a double victory.

I will feel I have passed this weight success marker when I am conformably 5 pounds below him.  His goal is 175, so realistically 170 will be a mini goal for me.  It was just like the time where I went below 200.  I want to get past it and be at the point where it won’t come back.  When I was solidly in the 195’s I knew I would never be above 200.

This same blogger posed the question about getting pregnant after dropping weight and adopting a healthy lifestyle.  I will never be pregnant again I am feel my current and lasting success is because I am no longer trying to get pregnant.  I do want to address the question.  I have been pregnant 4 times and had 2 babies in a 7 year span.  Yes, pregnancy affects your body in so many ways it is difficult to describe.  Post pregnancy is a huge adjustment period that no one talks about.  I am not talking just physically but hormonally and emotionally.  Not to mention you are also now 100% responsible for another being.  I feel if you are strong with your connection and commitment to a healthy lifestyle then you can adapt that lifestyle to having children.  Will it be difficult and take time, hell yes.  Can it be done and you are still successful with your health, yes.  Are there thing that will never go back (boobs & tummy), unfortunatly yes.  Is it worth it, absolutely.

Correction to my swings.  As of yesterday I was at 1800 not 1200 for the month.  I checked my sheet today.  I was going to do more today with my new bell but I am pooped (all day) and my butt hurts.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

10,000 Swings

I joined a challenge.  In the month of February I will do 10,000 Kettlebell swings on top of my regular exercise.  As of today I am at 1200.

What is a KettleBell?

A 'kettlebell' or girya (Russ.) is a traditional Russian cast iron weight that looks like a cannonball with a handle. The ultimate tool for extreme all-round fitness. The kettlebell goes way back, it first appeared in a Russian dictionary in 1704 (Cherkikh, 1994). So popular were kettlebells in Tsarist Russia that any strongman or weightlifter was referred to as a girevik, or 'a kettlebell man'.

What the hell is a swing?  Without proper instruction, most people do a bad swing.  The picture below is of my instruction Paul Daniels doing a swing.  Paul is an RKC Team Leader.  RKC  = Russian KettleBell Certification.    I use at 12 kg bell (~26 pounds).


Here is a swing video.  Just a note (Paul) the technique looks good to me but I am not 100% sure, since I am not RKC.

Why Swing?
1). Swings develop the important posterior chain muscles of the body such as the hamstrings, glutes, core and back. These muscles are often overlooked with traditional weight training but they are crucial for a large number of sports as these muscles are heavily involved in sprinting, jumping and tackling movements.

2). Kettlebell swings hit a lot of muscle at one time and get the heart rate soaring. Swings are a fantastic conditioner and body fat burner.

3). Swings work the abs and strengthen the core muscles as they provide a stable platform for other muscles to pull from. Traditional crunches are useless and do nothing for you.

4). A key benefit of kettlebell swings is that they train all parts of the back from the lower back all the way to traps. High rep swings also develop back endurance

Sorry so long.  I wanted to explain more about what the heck I have been doing for the past 2 months.  My body is transforming.  I promise I will get pictures.  Just a note, in class we do far more then just swings.

Friday, February 4, 2011

A Little Less Painful

I mentioned here how I was happy to be 2 tenths below hubby, then I mentioned here where we were the same weight, ah then I mentioned here where I was 9 pound heavier in 7 days.

Turns out it was false.  Why you ask?  Here it goes.

Hubby fibbed about his weight being 187.6, the day I thought we were equal.  He was actually 3 pounds lighter that day.  He fibbed on our log sheet because:

1.  He knew how pumped and excited I was to be less than him
2.  He didn't want me to get disappointed that I was no longer less than him
3.  He didn’t want my disappointment to turn into sabotage and depression, which it has many times for many circumstances.

I get it, but I told him NEVER do that again.  I am allowed my reaction wither good or plain shitty.  Do I need to work on my disappointment / sabotage cycle?  HELL YES.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Great Numbers but ……

Today was Dr. day.  On basically a biannual basis I see an endocrinologist.  She tracks my internal chemistry, BP and weight in addition to prescribing Metformin to control my insulin resistance.

My previous blood work results can be see here.

A1C5.35.3<5.7 is decreased risk of diabetes
HDL5748> 46 desired, good cholesterol
LDL123121<130 desired, bad cholesterol
Ratio3.53.8< 5 good
Triglycerides10572<150 desired

Since my last visit in August, her records indicate about a 4 pound weight loss.  She is concerned about my blood pressure.  She thinks its still a bit too high. 

So ….  My total cholesterol and triglycerides are excellent.  The bummer is that my good cholesterol (HDL) dropped 9 points.  That’s not good.  Dr. said more aerobic exercise and omega 3’s (2000 mg daily).  My weight change was blah but you all know I have been struggling with dropping significant weight over the last 6 months. 

The blood pressure is scary.  My family history with BP is not pretty.  Dr.’s recommendation was drop weight & reduce salt to avoid BP medicine.  I am going to monitor my BP on a regular basis and work on stress reduction techniques on a daily basis.

It’s hard with a nearly 2 year old who just this week decided to scream in the middle of the night.  We had a few months of full sleep but no more.  Now, not only is waking up screaming but he is also refusing to go back to bed.  Today he woke at 4:30 am, we tended to his needs, he refused to go back down, I sat on the floor until he calmed, snuck out of the room, he woke up, on and off slept / cried until I got him out at 6:30 am.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Weekly Weigh in 2/1/11

Weight = 190.0
Loss Gain = + 2.4

I am pissed.  Not only did I gain and go over 190 but I now weigh 9 frickin pounds more than hubby.  He lost like 6 pounds in 7 days.  In 7 measly days I went from being the same weight to being 9 pounds more then him.  I mentioned my frustration about the weight difference to him.  He said he didn’t want to write down his weight to avoid upsetting me and putting me in sabotage mode.  Am I that bad that my hubby feels like he has to baby step around me?  I am so frustrated my stomach hurt and I cried.

Then… I took a few steps back, took a shower,  to really evaluate my last week.

I played fast and loose with the calorie counting.  Yes on 5 of 7 days I was under my target of 1700 but I wasn’t putting the right things in my mouth.  Last Wednesday came to mind.  I had to fast until 10:30 am for some blood work.  After, I decided to eat a big breakfast burrito – eggs, cheese, bacon and potatoes.  I was full most of the day and didn’t eat again till 7pm.  Then, I wisely decided to eat carne asada super nachos.  Sure the total calories count was under 1700 but really, is this the way to drop weight.  Hell No!cal 

Looking at the above graph, it was far worse than I thought, too many cals and carbs.  I deserve to gain the 2 pounds.  On Friday I estimated my cals at about 1600 but I am sure I was way too low.

My calorie burn was good.  Today doesn’t count but Sunday I was a SLUG.  I felt like crap, ate like crap and did very little.  I also ate an entire box of the evil GS cookies.  Yes, I admit it here and now.aa Ok, I know what I did.  I know what I have to do.  I WILL do it.

P.S.  I love the Body Media Fit and Microsoft Snipping and Live Writer tools.  Coolness.