Baby hurricane is kicking my ass. It is bordering on questioning if the kid is "normal" or not. Both hubby and I have questioned his normalcy to the point where I am teetering on getting "help" for him. "help" = Dr's, testing, therapy, who knows. Hurricane is 19 months but has no words, except no. He is wicked smart with a wicked temper and a nack to get into EVERYTHING. At 18 months the Dr. mentioned seeking assistance (speech). I feel sorry for my calm natured 6 YO. He is having a hard time with his brother too.
But this is not the point of my post.
My "To Do" list is a mile long. It is full of important "To Do's". I can't even being to think of my "want to" list. When do I ever think I might have the time to frame and hang pictures of my kids that have been piled up for years. My "getting fit" focus is gone right now. I haven't done regular exercise for a month or more. My eating is ok, good, but I credit that to the fact that eating "mostly" healthily is second nature to me.
I can't pick a single thing I feel successful at right now because I can't actually finish one thing. Everything is in partial. I am part done with the laundry, the bathroom is partially done, I bought the grocery's but didn't put the veggies is the proper (Tupperware) container, I partially trimmed and weeded the front yard but couldn't finish since the baby woke up.
I am seriously contemplating asking to have a house cleaner come 2 times a month. I am willing to give up a good portion of my spending money (allowance if you want) to do so. I feel that knowing the house is clean and sanitary will lift 20 mental pounds off my back. Is there guilt involved in the stay at home mom asking for someone to clean her house - you bet. BUT - I am throwing in the towel and asking for help. I want to check off my to do list, I want to exercise without feeling guilty, I want to do some of my "want to" list, I want to have fun with my kids, I want to be happy.
Oh!! There is another part of me that is screaming right now - Amy - why can't you handle this? Why can't you do what others (with less or more kids) seem to do with "grace and ease". I actually told my hubby the other day it hard to take the baby to the park because then I am not at home doing crap. I