Thursday, September 30, 2010

Would you Like an Apple Dearie?

I updated my measurements yesterday.  Mainly for my Hot 100 goal of dropping 4 inches off my waist.  There wasn't too big of a change from my last numbers.  I lost 7 more inches.  I won't bore you will the details right now, next time.  I measure many areas so there is more chance for loss.  The problem is I drop inches in places I don't need too.  I dropped over an inch off of both upper (meaty) thighs.  I have bird legs already, I need to drop in the tummy & chest.  My well informed fitness friend (my UPT) said we drop inches from the place we DON'T need to first and the in our trouble places.  GRRRRRR !!!!!!

Upper Waist* = 44.5 inches
Lower Waist* = 48.0 inches

* upper waist is 1 inch above my belly button where my natural waist is.  Lower waist is 2 inches below my button and is my widest part because it includes my love handles, my hips are smaller. 

I have a classic apple shape with no hips.  In fact my hips are about 1 inch smaller than my lower (love handle) waist.  This is where I truly want to drop the inches since it is my widest part.  I know my appearance will vastly improve the more I drop there.

HOT 100 goal is 44 inches on lower waist.

Technically it not my waist but I really need to drop there.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Weekly Weigh In 9/28/10

Weight = 191.8
Loss = -1.0

Am I suffering a mental block of getting to the 180's?  Not to mention I am 3 pounds away from weighing less that hubby, a first.  I had the same problem when I hit the 199 / 200 mark.

Twice I was less than a pound away from hitting the 180's.  Hell, Monday morning I was 190.8.  So you ask, why a plus pound the next day.  Well I faltered.  AKA screwed up on Monday.  Bagel with butter (no protein there), Tuna salad and rice cakes (ok), cookie dough *, heavy chicken enchilada at 9pm.  * I was craving cookie dough.  I went so far as to borrow an egg from my neighbor to make it.  I didn't bake the dough since it was too fricking hot (110).  I am a self saboteur without a fix.  I don't know why I do this.  Do I need outside help to fix this problem? 

The 180's is brand new territory.  In the past 15 years I don't remember ever being below 190.  I have never been less that my hubby.

My exercise has been inconsistent crappy.  For posterity of my HOT 100 goals, I will post my inches tommorow.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Mirror Mirror on the Wall

I wanted to give a proper response to all the awesome comments I received in my mirror post.

A few of you mentioned emotional eating.  What first stuck me was "that was not emotional eating".  I wasn't having specific emotions at the time.  Then I thought about it more and the light bulb went off.  When I get overwhelmed with my job (Stay at home Mom) I shutdown, ok check.  Hubby's observation was shutdown = crappy eating, ok check two.  Emotional eating, well I am stressed.  I guess I never equated stress with an emotional response.  I also never realized I stress equals I eat.  I know when I am depressed, sad, etc, I eat poorly.  Silly.

I try not be be OCD perfectionist.  I'm lucky if I manage to get anything done, so who has the time to be perfect about it.  I do beat myself up with the whole motherhood thing.  I feel like I am failing my kids.  I could write a whole post how I feel like a failure and I just might do that.  My 18 month old is kicking my ass.  I love him to death and it some aspects he is an easy baby but in others he is a holy tornado.  I spend 70% of my time just trying to keep up (clean after) with him.  I am also adjusting to the new school schedule, soccer 2x a week, boy scouts and a dance class for the 6 year.   I do all my own stunts.  Which means unlike many other moms I know, I clean my own house, garden my own lawn, do my laundry.

My husband is a keeper but definitely not flawless.  Like many men, he doesn't finish what he starts.  He also wants to do all the work himself because he wants to learn and he is thrifty (I'm being kind).  My guest bath has been unfinished for 4 years or more, I lost count.  New floors in March 2010, baseboards 60% up and unfinished.  The piles of pavers in backyard that were supposed to be small retaining wall, about 5 years sitting there.  Large missing sections of drywall in master bathroom (leak detection), 2 years.  Painting and baseboards in oldest room, unfinished, 3 years.  Does this stress me out, absolutely.  Do I get embarrassed about the condition of my house, you bet.

So this may seem like a boo hoo post.  It is, but I think I just need to get some crap off my chest and move on.  A second post to get all the crap off could be in the works.  I know how damm lucky I am to be home with my kids, heck to even have a house to worry about taking care of.  I also know that many working moms do all the crap I do and work full time.  Although, when you work full time there is no one at the house making a mess.  We are home very often and my hubby is home 4 days a week (w/ no OT).    Please don't think of me as a spoiled whiny brat, I just need to vent.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

The mirror I don't want to look in

Sort of off topic but then again NOT.

Last night hubby and I had it out about taking care of things (house, kids, blah, blah) and priorities (of the To Do list).  After some heat (aka temper) I admitted I am not good at my job and I can't handle it.  If you look over that last few months of posts you can see the reoccurring theme of my frustration.

He wisely said that when I get overwhelmed I shut down and give up.

Oh and then he said .....

"I noticed when you shut down you eat crappy"

Sometimes it sucks having someone who knows you so well and can so precisely put that mirror up to your face and say "here look at this"

Grr - he is 100% correct and that bugs the crap out of me.

Friday, September 24, 2010

99 days to go

99 days until the end of the year.  Seriously.  That's why I joined the HOT 100.  Here is the lowdown.
What is the Hot 100? The Hot 100 is a challenge focused on the last 100 days of 2010. September 23, 2010 starts the clock. From that day forward there are exactly 100 days left in 2010. One hundred days to make this your year. One hundred days to achieve your goals. One hundred days, each and every one of which can be a great day!
Just like everyone else on the planet - some days are full of strife and struggle.  Other days are smooth sailing.

Yesterday I went to an AM yoga class.  It was a great hatha class and I sweated to my satisfaction.  There was some tight areas.  Especially on my baby carrying right side.  The next few hours I had energy but I was hungry.  All I could think about was food.  I slipped up in the afternoon / evening and made some poor food choices.  That evening I crashed.  I was so tired that I could barley read a book to my 6 Y.O. at 8pm.  Did I decided to do the right thing and go to sleep shortly after him?

That would be a NO

I decided to watch way too much TV, thanks in most part to my DVR.  Modern Family, Cougar Town, Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice.  Hubby came home at midnight (working OT) and was miffed at me for being up way too late.  I paid dearly.  The baby was up twice after I tried to go to bed and then decided to be wide awake 1 1/2 hours before his normal time.  I am in a fog today with little motivation.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

HOT 100

Thanks to a fellow blogger, I decided to enter a competition.  Waisting Time and I have been running similar circles.  That would be similar circles of weight loss hell.  No, we have been having very similar struggles with summer.  Maybe the Hot 100 is what I need to kick my butt in gear.  There is a 100 days from now until the end of the year.  I will make every day count for my getting fit journey.


I am not a believer in the holiday weight gain.  Letting it all go.  I think you can still enjoy the holidays and not go out of control.  My beliefs may stem from the fact we have no family around us, closest is 350 miles (my parents).  My goals are reasonable, in my mind.  The first part of my Hot 100 will be the hardest.  We are heading to NY and Phily in just over a week.  First part bucket list, second part visiting family.  I plan to not go out of control with food but that doesn't mean I am going to avoid.  In fact part of our trip will be visiting Carlo's Bakery (aka Cake Boss).  My oldest (6) is a big fan.

My Goals
  1. To reach a BMI of 29.9 - Overweight and no longer OBESE.  I have to reach 174 pounds.  My current weight is 193 (rounding), So I will drop 19 pounds by 12-31-10.  That will be a total of 42 pounds for 2010.
  2. Take 4 inches of my waist measurements
  3. Drink a minimum of 72oz of water daily.
I think goals should be tangible.  Mine are.  The water gets harder for me when it gets colder.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

I'm Faltering

I had an excellent weigh in last week. The 180's were in my grasp and then I blew it. I blew it big time. I know 2.8 pound gain is not horrendous. It more about where I have been (my head) the last few days that scares me.

I binged big time. I overate. This is something I really haven't done in a long long time. In the past 2 to 3 weeks I overate probably 5 times. 4 of of those being in the last week. That is 5 times too many. I know I overate for a few reasons. I feel like crap, I get bloated, I get stuffy and the oddest thing is I sneeze. When I overeat I sneeze like 50 times in a row. I won't bore you with the details but words like candy apples, butter cookies, 4 hot dogs, 75% of a 9x9 apple crisp don't work with losing weight. Last night at a Boy Scout meeting I had 4 or 5 slices of pizza. My head said "the other moms probably think I am a piggy eating all this pizza." I even snuck a piece so no one would see me eating it. Healthy!!!

Water has been lack and I have been missing my medicine.

Exercise - I know I love it. So why have I not being doing it often enough. I haven't been tracking. I am getting squishy and lumpy and I don't like it. I think it is because I haven't done consistent strength training in 2-3 months. I skipped all the exercise my Dr. wants me to do on my foot too. Really smart!!!

My mind is not in the game. I accepted the overeating, allowed it. I made bad choices and I knew it. My confidence and happiness are on a hiatus. I am pissy. No, it's not that time in case you are wondering.

FIX - The treadmill is fixed. I signed up for a 4 week boot camp with my UPT starting 10/18. I am going to made on a workout plan for the next 2 weeks. A yoga class asap to help refocus the mind. I will keep the food simple. Pre-plan for events like my MOPs meeting (homemade breakfast buffet) and the pool party on Sat. I will decide how I will eat before and during these events and I will enlist help. I will drink my water and take my pills.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Weekly Weigh In 9/21/2010

Weight = 192.8
Loss = +2.8

Read next post titled I'm Faltering.  It deserves its own post.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Triathlon on 10/3

I made a decision.  It was hard.

The other day my triathlon buddy called me.  She wanted me to really think about the race.  She was worried I might injure myself with the adrenaline rush of the race.  She also mentioned that I haven't been able to train as much.  Last year she trained for 12 weeks.  I haven't done any stacked training.  Like a run and bike, back to back.  She was worried about my endurance level.

I know I could finish it within my time.  My biggest hurdle is that I will getting on a plane for an East Coast trip with my family less than 48 hours after the tri.  What if I am so sore I can move very well?  What kind of vacation mood will I be in.  What if the adrenaline rush of the race causes me to injure myself.  I really haven't trained like I should have been doing for the last 2 months.  I haven't run more than 1 mile.  I can walk much more but not run.

All this considered I decided to skip the triathlon this year.  There is always next year.  I am out $90 but that is worth the price of my first time to New York City.  Yes, I am partially bummed but satisfied with my decision.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Land of Blondes, B**bs and Botox

I live in the land of Blondes, Boobs and Botox.  Just think "Real Housewives of OC" and you will get the correct mental picture.  Seriously, their planet (gated community) is a few miles away.  School drop off consists of many women dressed to the nines with full makeup and skinny.  Or they are in their cute workout clothes and still look great.  Workout clothes I can't even imagine affording.  Technically I don't live in this land, I just have to visit it super often, like every time I leave my house.  I do make an effort with my hair but makeup if super rare.

In my SAHM (Stay at Home Mom) journey I have met many many moms. Some of these moms seem to be super “with it” and really have the balance. What balance? They seem to have their fitness and shape under control. They are usually put together even and most times pretty well dressed. The do activities with their kids with ease. They volunteer in different areas.  The house is relatively clean and not in chaos. Dinner is on the table most nights. The have additional outside activities besides the family. The kids get lessons as needed. Like writing or reading. Pretty much everything above I struggle with everyday. Not to mention the guilt associated with it too.

So, on the other hand they some admit to getting only 4 hours of sleep. Is that really in balance?

I brought this feeling up to a wise, formally very heavy friend. She understood what I meant but had this to say “maybe they have pressure to be perfect.”  Either internal or external pressure.  I heard some husbands tell there wives they are fat when then only have maybe 15 extra pounds so. Or they have to have XY and Z done before their husbands get home or they get mad. It helped with understanding the other side of the coin.

BUT

I still want to achieve the balance in my own life.  When I am more focused on my weight loss, my other stuff goes to the wayside.  Not just my own personal desires, like scrapbooking.  The bigger stuff, like taking care of the house and giving proper attention to my kids.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

I Removed a .....

Holy Hanna Batman I took 42 pounds off my body, 26 this year. I am close to halfway to my goal. Fifty pounds to to go to 140. I might want to lose more but I won't know until then.

I practically removed my 6 year off my body. He is about 44 pounds right now. You know what, he is really heavy to carry.

BUT

Last night the fam went out to dinner. I had a gift card for a BBQ joint. The dinner was heavy and included alcohol. I felt very puffy and I sneezed multiple times at the end of dinner. Afterwards we went to the costume shop for the kiddos. I felt like a big tubbo and felt like people were looking at me. I actually looked in the mirror and had to remind myself I wasn't that fat.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Weekly Weigh In 9/14/2010

Weight = 190.0
Loss = - 3.0

That's what I am talking about.  Really!  The scale could drop into the 180's.  Couple of milestones hit, update later.

Food
I have been doing the low carb thing.  Not really sure how low.  My carbs for day consists of steel oats, 1 slice of bread, apple, various veggies and sometime quinoa.  I am really having issues with meat.  Any chunk of meat.  If I have to chew it too long I have to spit it out because I start gagging.  I really don't know why.  I have always had issues but it seems to be getting worse.

Exercise
Still not too intense.  Thur - Yoga, Fri - nada, Sat - 2 mile walk / jog with 1/2 a Julian circuit DVD, Sun - nada, Mon - 3.3 miles brisk walk.

Mental
The low carb thing is ok right now.  The 1 slice of bread helps.  If I could fix the gagging thing then I would be in much better shape.  A secondary motivation is my hubby.  He needs to loose about 15 pounds quickly.  I suggested Cooler One from Eat Clean Diet Recharged for the both of us.  You have to see the book for the Cooler One.  I can't find it on the website.  Basically lean proteins, veggies, 1 apple, 1 sweet potato, 1 grain, water for 5 days, max 2 weeks.  I can't stand sweet potatoes so the 1 slice of bread is my substitute.  While at work he has been calling for support when a craving hits.  Warms my heart.

Monday, September 13, 2010

In Neutral

This weight loss car of mine has been in neutral for way too many months.  I know deep down in my heart I will never go in reverse.  My heart is also telling me it's time to get into drive.  I need to kick it up.

Lowest weight in May 197.6
Lowest in September 193.0
Difference - 4.6 pounds

I spent 4 months playing around with 5 pounds.  If that is not the definition of neutral I don't know what is.  I had a wonderful crazy summer with more traveling then I have done in 10 years so on the plus side not gaining is a good thing.  Now that school is in, a lot less traveling, back to routine, I will be able to do this.  I am NOT beating myself up, I just know I need to switch into gear.  I still have a long way to go for my ultimate goal and 4 months is a long time to not go very far.

I wanted to post this earlier in the month but didn't get a chance.  I have kicked it up the last week and I know it will show in my weight tomorrow.  I expect BIG numbers.  Maybe even a milestone.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

It Stayed in Vegas

Our Vegas trip ended on Thursday.  We had 2 wonderful nights in Vegas with the kids.  It was fun, relaxing and refreshing.  We had some trouble with the baby sleeping but that's not unusual.

The trip included 5 hour car trip with road food and then Vegas food.  I enjoyed half a Fatbuger with Fat Fries.  It was the first time hubby and shared a meal.  He is not a food sharer.  But he is on a weight loss kick to so he decided to share with me, which worked out great for me.  Yum.  I had 2 full breakfasts and an Italian dinner with all the trimmings.  The day we got home I promptly went to a Yoga class.

The best part of the trip was that I DIDN'T GAIN weight.

Bummer part was the plan both hubby and I had to exercise didn't happen.  We both flaked.

I have tons more to talk about, just need to find the time to sit and write it.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Weekly Weigh In 9/7/2010

Weight = 193.0
Loss = -1.6

I am pleased with my loss.  Under 190 is right around the corner.  I am now at my lowest I can remember in like 15 years.  I don't want to yo-yo back up and play around with 5 pounds.

Today we are on the road again.  We are heading to Vegas.  The land of excess.  This is the first time we are going with both kids.  Wish us luck, we may need it.  The hotel has a gym and both hubby and I "plan" to use it.  Famous last words.  I will report back later.

More later, gotta get going!

Monday, September 6, 2010

Triathlon Goal

Triathlon in T-minus 28 days. 

I am on a roller coaster of emotions.  Sometimes I think the triathlon will be fine, I will do ok, I will survive.  Other times I freak out big time.

I reviewed last years total times.  The highest time in my category Women age 35-39 was 2:07:38.  They don't have a course max.  I called, they won't kick anyone off but you have to be running by 9:30 am because the bike roads have to open.  The swim is at 6:35 am.  I think I can finish the swim and a 15K bike long before that.  I hope!

I have been only partially training but not seriously.  I also haven't been running at all for many reasons.  I will be kicking into high gear the next 4 weeks. 

My goal for total time is 2 hours and 15 min.

I know I am not shooting for the moon but I want to be reasonable.  This is my first time.  It is a completely mystery to me on how I will do.  The only thing I have timed was my 500 m swim.  I am still FAT.  My training has been blah.  Who knows maybe I will smoke my goal.  I really don't know.

More info on the Tri is here.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

August in Review

I am disappointed in my progress.  Heck I don't even want to look back at August.  I am not even going to post my weight change because guess what ..... there is NO CHANGE.  Four weeks of no progress.  Four weeks I wasted on not making any progress.

My August word = LAZY

Ok, so I have having a bit of a pity party party of one around here.

Yes, on the positive side I didn't gain.  I tried some new exercises - Kickboxing and biking with swimming. 

The broken treadmill really messed me up.  I didn't track my exercise or over 2 weeks.  My head wasn't in the game even though I still love where I have gotten.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Marketing Mania

Yesterday on our 320 or so mile drive to my parents house in mountains of central CA I must have seen over 300 billboards for the Lap Band.  I swear at some point there was like 5 in a row.  Being a former employee and current stockholder of the company responsible for the Lap Band I say whoo hoo.  Being someone who is trying to lose weight they plain old way of calorie restriction and exercise I am divided.

I understand it is a tool in a vast array of tools out there.  On the other hand I think the mass marketing leads to misinformation.  A good friend of mine was seriously interested in getting a Lap Band. That is until she actually went to all the meetings about the surgury, nutrition, the process and including a physiologist interview.  She was shocked by a few revelations about the Lap Band so she changed her mind.  The biggest shocker was they DO NOT remove the lap band unless medically necessary.  That shocked me too.  Here is a few other things I though were interesting.
If you are a regular coffee, tea, or soda drinker you should be aware that no caffeine is permitted for the first three months after surgery. Carbonated beverages; both diet and regular may cause gas, bloating, and an increase in stomach size due to the carbonation and are not recommended at any time for Lap-Band patients.   You also can't chew gum.
The second phase of the Lap-Band diet consists of 5 to 6 weeks of a modified full liquid diet; the key component of this phase is consuming two ounces of a protein shake every hour for ten to twelve hours a day with two ounces of other liquids such as soup, baby food, or sugar-free gelatin three times a day.

During the second six weeks following Lap-Band surgery patients may eat food that is shredded in a food processor prior to eating. The basic foods on the Lap-Band diet include meats or other forms of protein, vegetables, and salads. The Lap-Band diet does not include most bread, potatoes and other starchy vegetables. The length of these phases may be altered according a patient’s personal weight and weight loss goals – my first phase is five weeks, followed by a two week second phase.
No wonder people lose a ton of weight.  Liquid diet to a food processor diet.  No way, not for me.