Friday, July 30, 2010

A Whole New Wardrobe - Sort Of

When you a fat you are stuck.  Stuck where?  Well let's say you are at a friends house and you forgot your jacket.  It's getting cold, uncomfortable cold.  You cringe because you know you are so much bigger than anyone who lives there.  You know you can't fit into their clothes.  You don't know what to do.  You are stuck.

Last week on our beach vacation, it was cold.  So cold that my Mr. had to go to WalMart and buy some sweats.  My Mr. has never been obese.  I have ALWAYS weighed more then him.  He, at times, could drop a few pounds but never more than 20.  I got cold so I tired on his men's medium sweats and THEY FIT.  I can wear his clothes.  I even put on one of his tees.  It was a bit tight, because of my ample chest but it did fit.

Soon I will weigh less than him.  I can't wait until that day.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

A Vacation in Control - Possible?

How the hell do the “normal” people vacation? I have traveled a few times this year. The year of my weight loss journey. The year that is the start with no end. Anyways, I travel with my kids and sometimes with hubby. We travel by car mostly. When we stop we do it quick and dirty. Walk in, potty, order, eat in car. Admittedly I am not a fan of “health” food at fast foods places and you really can’t eat a salad in a car. Choices are also difficult with my food issues. So lately I will grab a cheeseburger, no fries, only water. I know it’s not the best choice.

How do people who are either have no weight issues or have their prior weight issues under control vacation? I as not in control with my vacation last week. I ate more than I needed and things I did not need. I really didn’t go into thinking, “hell I am on vacation so let’s free for all”. It just happened. I let it happen.

How do “fit” people maintain their exercise routine during vacation? A vacation with young kids. Vacation with no access to a gym. A vacation where you are not a runner yet and walking is not enough cardio anymore.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Divulging More

I have food texture and taste issues. I could be eating a steak and if I take too big of a piece I sometimes have to spit it in my napkin because the extra chewing makes me want to chuck, . Or I feel gross when I have too many bites of the same food item (salads, bleck!).  I have to force down plain chicken sometimes.    I can't stand eating the same item over and over during the same meal.  That is why I switch around from item to item. When I eat a salad I try to make sure the bite is different from the next. I also have a sensitive gag reflex.

It is very weird to admit this in writing. So hard to put to words.  So silly to admit.  I think I have always had texture issues.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Weekly Weigh In 7/26/10

Weight = 199.0
Loss = +3.2

VACATION - Enough said.

Waaaa, booo, hisss.  The inner child in me didn't want to admit my gain.  I don't want to tell the world I gained 3 pounds in 2 weeks.  Not total devastation, but still 3 pounds.  I stepped on the scale monster on Friday and I was the same, so the 3 pounds have been sticking around for a few non vacation days.  I am one pound away from 2 hundy suckyville.  Won't happen but still scary.

And guess what, I am off for another vacation today.  It will be different this time.

I have also come to realization that I highly doubt I will make my 8/3 goal of 190.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Food Journals : a most effective weight-loss tool

I found an excellent post about food journals here. I asked the author's permission to use her idea to explain my own feelings about a food journal. I really thought it was an incredible explanation about the process of tracking your food. The first part of this post is detailed description with a little editing and the second part is my personal evaluation. I highly recommend visiting the site. It is full of helpful advice.

The Food Journal Ladder :

Level 0 : “Healthy Eating”
At the “Healthy Eating” stage there is no tracking, no real awareness of self-control, just eating what you consider healthy because it’s what you prefer & it’s become habit. Sounds good in theory, but in practice it’s wickedly hard to do — one of those things where the ‘devil is in the details’ – it doesn’t take much to let this slip a bit and then a bit more and then you’re in a cupcake pit UNDER the ladder in the “free for all” eating space…

Level 1 : Eat with the intention of Losing
More than just “healthy eating” this also is a concerted effort to hold back enough volume and food choices so that you achieve a loss. It builds on everything you already know about dieting. Not for beginner dieters. Sort of a more controlled area of ‘intuitive eating’ type of thinking – it’s ‘intuitive dieting’ where you know when you need that spoonful of peanut butter, but you also know to reach for celery or brush your teeth instead of eating at all…

Level 2 : Write it all down
This can be done with various levels of control. You can write it ALL down, or you can write down just the meals that are problematic, just the special event, just the transgressions, just the weekends, etc. At its most basic it’s just an awareness tool to make you aware of choices you make and accountable to reporting them to yourself. Can do pen & paper, or electronic records of many types – Excel, word documents, emails to a buddy, your blog…

Level 3 : Counting
This is the level where you watch a number (or more than one, depending on your diet plan). Calories. Fat. Points. Carbs. Protein. Glycemic Index. Sodium, whatever. You can do it on paper if you have a reference book with the values of your food (and you have a basic idea of serving sizes as a rule of thumb). Today there are lots of good electronic tools too – dedicated software, many good websites (a lot of people use FitDay or LiveStrong’s Daily Plate, or Sparkpeople or iphone aps).

Level 4 : Weigh, measure, count, track : the full enchilada
At the highest level is the actual weighing & measuring. It’s more precise than the other levels but it’s more involved, takes more mental energy and might create extra stress if you are worrying about an extra 3 Cheerios that you ate. On the other hand, nothing makes things clearer than measuring 3/4 of a cup of cereal into the bowl & then measuring out the milk & realizing that the quantity you’ve been eating daily from that bowl is probably 3 times “one” serving.

Where Finding the Fit Girl “fits” on the ladder
Level 0 – This is where I want to be for the rest of my life. I can visualize myself here when I visualize the fit girl inside me.

Level 1 – I have been her for the better part of 3 months with the exception of my vacation, off the ladder there.

Level 2 – I started here in Jan thru about April. I just tracked transgressions from my food plan. If the plan was a low carb week with bread allowed at lunch. If I ate something off that plan then I would just jot it down on my excel file. This was a successful time for me.

Level 3 – The difference between levels 2, 3, and 4 is what really struck me when I first read about the ladder. I can see the difference now between full tracking (level 4) and partial tacking (level 2). I can see myself using level 2 and 3 but not the full level 4.

Level 4 – I completely understand the need for this tool. I also see where I might need to refer to it for a time period but right now I do feel I have portion and size in control. This is the level where I get nutty which directly leads to failure.

Applying the Food Journal Ladder to myself :
My ultimate goals is to be in level 0 all the time but right now I need to switch some things up, lose some vacation weight and regain some control on things.

Right now I think I need to move into level 1 and 2. Going back to having a plan and then tracking the transgressions of the plan. I will also mentally be tracking my carb counts. I want to keep under 30g for a meal and 15g for a snack. I want to balance bread carbs with protein, 14g for meal and 7g for a snack. This method follows a book I partially read, The Insulin Resistance Diet

I want to thank for the permission.  She did such an excellent, detailed job there is no way I could have done any better.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Like Riding a Bike

While on vacation the Mr. and I went on a bike ride without kids.  I haven't really been on a bike for sometime.  I also haven't done much distance or hills or on streets.  I was a bit nervous.  I wasn't sure how I would do. 

I did good, in my opinion.

We biked 3 miles, stopped and then 3 miles back.  I had to adjust my seat up, I was too low.  I also had a learning curve with gears and what gear I should be in where.  Otherwise, besides a bit of quads burning it was easy.  I really wasn't out of breath, except for the steep steep hill in the beginning of the ride.  It was fun and I want MORE.  I wanted to ride more that day and then the next.  Unfortunately Mr. was under the weather so we only got the one ride.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Back home

I was MIA for a while.  I was on vacation at the beach.  I did have wifi but it was a low tech vacay and I got looks from my hubby and parents when I went on the computer.

I checked my weight today and I was up 3 pounds.  Not in the least bit surprised.  In the 7 days we were gone (thru to thur) I worked out 3 days.  I had the best intentions.  We packed up our bikes, boxing gloves, weights and tension bands.  I managed boot camp on they day we left, one workout and one bike ride (6 miles).  The workout consisted of me beating my Mr. with boxing gloves, doing wind sprints with him and some tension band work.  My Mr. pissed me off with the workout.  I asked him if I did a good workout and he said it wasn't enough.  I wanted to do more during the week but it was hard to get it in.  The baby didn't sleep very well and when he was awake we had to be 100% on him.

The food.  The great thing was that almost every meal was homemade and great.  We didn't really eat out at all.  The bad side was there was alot of food.  There was 15-17 people at the house.  I don't have control over my food issues yet.  I ate much more then I should have, hence the 3 pounds gain.   Every breakfast was full of meats and eggs.  There was bread all the time which I have a hard time avoiding.  Oh and lets not forget, desert every night.  I never had so much desert in one week.  We don't do desert at home.

On Monday I am off for another vacation.  This time it is just us and my in laws so I should have much more control over what is in the house.  I plan to stay in more control and try to get out more and exercise.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Skinny is NOT Fit

The other day at boot camp a new lady started.,  She was rail thin.  In fact some of the other ladies told her they wouldn't be in boot camp if they were as thin as her.  Her goal was to gain strength.  I watched her workout.  She was using really low weights, like 3lb and 5lb.  I use 10lb and 12lb.  She wasn't able to do everything completely.

Skinny is NOT fit

The trainer mentioned the next day that the same lady texted her a bunch of time about how sore she was and how much she hurt.  My first week of boot camp I really wasn't very sore.  Just one day but my butt was a bit ouchy.

I will be FIT not Skinny

Another trainer mentioned that sometimes skinny people have a high percentage body fat, "skinny fat".  They are not fit.  I love my developing tone, muscles.  I love to see the changes in my body.  I love getting fitter.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Weekly Weigh In 7/13/10

Weight = 195.8
Loss = -0.8

Finally I hit a 20 pound loss for the year.  It's downhill from here.  Pictures tomorrow, hopefully.  I know it is super slow but that makes it all the more real.  I know this will stick.  I believe my loss is low this week since I am still having my visitor. 

I will be out of town for the next 2 Tuesdays.  I will weigh in probably next Saturday the 24th.  I want to drop more weight but I also know it will be a challenge while on vacation. 

Monday, July 12, 2010

I survived

Today was a stressful day.  It was a combination of my monthly visitor, boot camp, sore foot, headache, chores, errands, tornado house and my crazy kids.  The topper of the day was when my 6yo threw a mega watt temper tantrum.  It was horrible and went off and on for the better part of 3 hours.  At one point I was on my kitchen floor crying and holding my toddler while the demon was upstairs cleaning his room (part of his punishment). 

I made the toddler some mac and cheese.  I wanted so badly to stress eat the whole bowl and then anything else I could find.  But I didn't.  Instead, among all the chaos and mess, I made a dinner inspired from here.  I started with wanting to make the recipe as stated but then quickly realized I was missing some ingredients.  Here is my "kitchen sink / clean the fridge" version.
1 cup cooked quinoa, feta, sliced grape tomatoes saute in butter, can of white beans, blended to liquid spinach slightly steamed in chicken broth.  After I cooked the quinoa I added the rest of ingredients and heated it up some more.
It was great.  I loved the taste.  I am still waiting for Mr. to get home and try it.  I didn't binge.  I survived.  I am currently having a glass of wine though.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Resistance in NOT futile

Today I went to IKEA in the morning.  I "tried" their cheap breakfast ($0.99) and it was cheap.  It was clear that the eggs were powdered.  I couldn't even eat them.

In the lower level the entire warehouse smelled like fresh baking cinnamon rolls.  I thought, just maybe.  I even got into line and still contemplated.  Then I turned around.  I decided it was not worth it.  I have had one (or more) before.  I am doing great, my numbers are great, why blow it.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Fitness Test

I am slowly starting my triathlon training.  This week I signed up for a week free at a gym.  I did it to try out a Zumba class my friend has been raving about.  A second bonus is they have a 25m pool. 

Zumba was cool on Tuesday night.  I am not much of a dancer but I really enjoyed it.  I stood behind my energizer bunny friend and watched her steps.  I think I kept up really well.  I am sore in a few new places.

Tonight I wanted to test myself for a 500m swim.  I really didn't know how I would do.  I was thinking I probably wouldn't be able to go non-stop.  It's been over 2 years since I swam for exercise.  Well I .....

Swam 500m non-stop in 11.51.41. 

11 min.  I came home and told Mr., his response was "are you sure".  I still didn't know how I did, so I looked up the 2009 swim times for the triathlon.  The range was about 7 min to upwards of 18 min.  Pretty good start.  Sum it up ... I am more fit that I know.

P.S.  I texted my BFF/ UPT / Energizer bunny right out of the pool, can't wait to hear what she has to say :-)

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Weekly Weigh in 7/6/2010

Weight = 196.6
Loss = -1.0

I am 0.4 pounds away from hitting 20 pound loss (from Jan).  I want to take pictures but I said I would wait until 20 pounds.  I WILL hit the 20 pound mark.  I am feeling great but the big monthly V is right around the corner which always throws me for a big loop on the food and exercise front. 

Sometimes I second guess my methods.  I have been on a SLOW and steady weight loss all year.  I am in this for my life, not a quick fix.  I 100% believe in moderation and not extremes but .... It could go faster, I could take to more extremes and drop the weight quicker.  I read a few other weight loss blogs and a good portion of the people drop weight fast and steady.  Some are on programs like Medifast, Weight Watchers or do really low carbs, etc.  Many of these people don't indulge or imbibe.  Which is better?  What is the choice for me?  Like I said I second guess myself occasionally.  It wouldn't be called a journey if I didn't.

Monday, July 5, 2010

4th of July recap

Yes, there was area of improvements but overall it went great.  I should have eaten more at home.  The invite was for 12 and I arrived at about 2, almost noone was there.  I guess the plan was to BBQ for dinner so it was just appetizers until then.  There was my mistake, I was hungry because I didn't really eat lunch.  I overdid it on the cupcakes and I know it.  I went to bed hungry.  This is what I ate for the whole day.
small helping of my potato salad, apple with my PB dip, at party - chips and dip, 2 crakers with 1 slice cheese, apples w/ PB dip, 2 cupcakes, some veggies, c. burger, potato salad, fruit, 2 more cupcakes, 2 glasses of wine
I did exercise but not like I expected.  Just before dinner my BF / UPT wanted to go on a walk.  There is a great trail near the party house.  I strapped the baby in the stroller and went for a walk, in my FLIP FLOPS.  It was a brisk walk for 1 HOUR, awesome.  So happy I got that in, just wish I had proper shoes.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Plan for the 4th

Party food is a huge red light trigger for me.  Today "might" not be too bad.  The family is gluten free and uses all organic meats.  Plus my UPT will be there so she can help me too.  I will "taste" some of the not so good things and eat more of the good stuff.  I am flying solo with a toddler and 6yo (Mr. working all day) so who knows if I will get a chance to eat.  My plan is:
  • Eat steel oats, protein, blueberries for breakfast
  • exercise when baby is napping
  • Eat Apple w/ PB before we go
  • drink lots of water
  • scope out the food and decide what I want
  • enjoy spending time with my kids and conversation (if I can)
I love parties, love holidays and love socializing.  Time to learn to enjoy all that without making food the center of attention. 

Saturday, July 3, 2010

July Goals

It's time to set some goals and get out of my slump.  Time to drop more weight, no more maintaining.  I have been teetering at 197.  This month is full of challenges.  Along with the holiday we have 2 family trips coming up.  Luckily we are staying at houses so I can control my food a bit more but the exercise will be a big challenge.  I love boot camp, love group exercise.  I am going to enlist my UPT to help me create a workout program on vacation.  I know I will feel so much better if I keep up with my program.

Weight Goal on Tues 8/3 = 190

So that's about 7 pounds.  That is big.  Can I do 7 pounds in 4 weeks and 2 days?
  • reduce the bread carbs
  • eat breakfast earlier
  • eat at least 4 times
  • very few splurges
  • Boot Camp, Yoga, treadmill and will start some kickboxing classes
  • exercise program for vacations
  • plan, think, plan and think some more

Thursday, July 1, 2010

June in Review

Start Weight (6/1) =  199.8
End Weight (6/30) = 197.6
Loss = -2.2

Considering how lax I have been with food especially, I am happy to be what I consider maintaining my weight.  Even though it shows a loss I don't consider it one.  I will be in loss category when I go below 196, in my opinion.  I have gotten really good at maintaining my loss for the past 2 months. 

I exercised 18 of 30 days.  I though it was higher but the percentage is 60%, not bad.  Almost double last month.  My accomplishments have increased.
  • I ran a full mile non-stop.  I am not a runner unless I am chasing a soccer ball.  Huge accomplishment.
  • I did 7 days of 1 hr high intensity boot camp.  I started mid month.  I never got too sore like I used to when starting a new exercise program.
  • I increased my weights at boot camp.  For bis-tris-chest I am up to 12 pound dumbbells.
  • I did Hot Yoga
Words like donuts, pretzels, big sub sandwiches, ice cream, bread, alcohol, etc should not be in the equation.  It is no surprise that my weight is where it is.  I enjoyed myself with food.  Enjoyed might be the wrong choice of words.  Food is for fuel not enjoyment or is it ok to enjoy food and become fit at the same time?  Am I fooling myself with this thought?  Does it have to be black or white? 

I also wonder if the weight training affected my weight loss too.